Communication and connection are often the first things to erode when life gets busy, yet they are the very foundation of strong teams, healthy families, and personal well-being. Steve Shenbaum brings decades of experience working with athletes, leaders, and organizations to explore how trust is built through small, consistent actions rather than big moments. As the conversation unfolds, he reflects on the role of discipline, the impact of constant information, and the quiet power of presence, offering a perspective that feels both practical and deeply human. What emerges is a reminder that meaningful connection is not complicated, but it does require intention, awareness, and a willingness to show up differently.
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Communication And Connection: What High-Performing Teams Get Right With Steve Shenbaum
Welcome to the show. We are here to talk about mental health and wellness with Steve Shenbaum. Steve is the founder and president of Game On Nation, a nationally recognized communication and leadership firm. A former actor and comedian, Steve has spent nearly three decades developing MILE™. An interactive game-based curriculum rooted in the science of game dynamics, helping teams strengthen communication, leadership, and culture.
Game On was based at IMG Academy for nearly a decade, where Steve and his team led communication and leadership training for thousands of elite athletes, executives, and organizations. He works with Fortune 100 companies, professional and college sports teams, government agencies, and all of the branches of the US military.
Steve has trained twelve number one overall draft picks, worked with Olympic and World Cup champions, and recently had his work featured on HBO’s Hard Knocks with the Buffalo Bills. He has been featured in outlets like Sports Illustrated, The New York Times, ESPN, and ABC News. Steve currently lives in Florida with his wife, Jacky, and their two daughters. Steve, thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, Marc. That was a really nice intro. I appreciate your honoring my backstory a little bit.
The Science Of Connection: Improvisation And The Three Rules
I really want to hear all about Game On. I am fascinated by it. As you mentioned, Bob introduced us. Bob Delaney, a show coming up soon for those who tune in regularly. I really want to hear all about Game On. I am fascinated by the whole communication piece. What can you tell us about Game On?
In a nutshell, we focus on connection. We use improvisation as a gateway to create that connection. This new framework that we are really focusing on is the idea of self, others, and purpose. We are going on 30 years of doing this, which is wild. Our audiences are threefold. Junior, college, and professional athletes. I put that in one section. The junior being that we were with IMG for so long.
Junior, college, and professional athletes and teams, corporations that you mentioned, and also the military and government. The curriculum is very similar for all three of those groups. Which you would think is, they are not all similar, but the curriculum is. What is the idea of using improvisation to create connection? We have three rules of the game. I will toss it back to you. Let us hear. Laugh with, not at. Have each other’s back. Celebrate small wins.
Laugh with, not at. You will lose some jokes, but you are gaining a ton of trust. Have each other’s back. Does not mean you have to be best friends, but just honor one another. Celebrate small wins. Do not just wait for epic victories because that could be a tiresome journey. Those are our three rules of the game. I love it. It is all about connection.
As a family therapist, the words connection and communication are vital. It is vital not only to the teams we are on, but also to the families we are in. I love what you said. I love those rules. They are great. I just love the connection and the cohesiveness. As a very average athlete myself throughout the years, I have always been fascinated by it. I am 5 feet 6 inches, so not exactly a large-statured individual. I am always fascinated by what happens.
I will tell you a quick, funny story. What happens when a whole bunch of 5-foot-6-inch guys play basketball, and they beat a whole bunch of 6-foot-10-inch guys? That actually happened. We got on the court once to play pickup, and everybody underestimated us. We figured out our strength, but we did a lot of what you just said. We communicated well, and we created a connection. To me, that overpowers a lot of things.
First of all, I love that story. Now people can visualize a bunch of 5-foot-6-inchers. I am 5 feet 5.5 inches, but a bunch of point guards are playing against the tall guys. It points out something that is really important in terms of connection. As husbands and wives, as uncles and aunts, as parents, as coaches, unity is way more powerful than elite all-stars coming together. There is an elite all-star dynamic that you can have in the sports world, in the corporate world, and in the military space, which can be pretty incredible.
Unity is way more powerful than elite all-stars coming together. Share on XThere is something that the elite all-star dynamic might be lacking, which is familiarity with one another, connection with one another, and trust with one another. Interestingly, you teed up that scenario. Without knowing the details, I would say the 5-foot-6-inch team had some laughter. There had to be some humor involved. It was a little bit of an underestimation by the opponent, which is always interesting. There was unity. You all had an incentive that you were driving toward. Not to knock the tall players or disparage them. It is just interesting.
It gets me thinking, too. I am thinking of those three groups. The pro athletes, the corporations, and the military. Obviously, for so many of them, connection and communication have become an issue. I am wondering from your perspective, when you begin to implement those things that you mentioned earlier, and those connections get created. What do you start noticing as effects from that?
The first one is that there is laughter in the room. I do not mean laughter, Marc, in terms of the set-up punchline joke. I just think when people start to connect. When you meet someone, and they have the same birthday, what do you do? You do not get angry. You do not say, “That is my birthday. You cannot have it.” That would be my answer. I am going to keep it simple.
When you earn the right to show a high-performing team, which could be any, could be the five-sixers, could be the six-tenners, could be the special ops, could be the Fortune 500 company, could be the startup company, whatever it may be. When you introduce respectfully and authentically the connection piece of humor and laughter, and laugh with them, the first thing that comes is trust. From trust, the guard goes down.
You start to see some real creativity and real humor. Not laughing because someone told a funny joke. Laughing because you are like, “I did not think that,” or “No way, I did not know that about you,” or “I did not know Marc played hoops in intramural in college.” Those discussions start to happen. You start to get to know one another a little better, which then builds trust. When we get to know each other better, we start to see each other as human beings.
I am thinking back to the good teams that I have watched on TV and how it seems like they enjoy each other. You can almost picture off the field, they would want to hang out because they have that connection. As opposed to teams, we have seen that you do not want to hang around each other.
Especially in your field as a therapist who has earned the right and has the authority to bring expertise to the table. Also, for those of us who are not therapists, parents, teachers, coaches, or leaders. Encouragement I want to give everyone based on those three rules of the game is to cherish them, but do not overplay them. This is actually where I am in the phase of my career now, Marc, as we talk about wellness and mental health and connection.
We have to be careful with all this goodness that we have, like “Laugh with me,” so that you do not overplay it. For example, if a team enjoys each other’s company and they have fun with one another, it is awesome. As parents and coaches, we do not double down on that because there is a challenge if we go from joy and laughter to just a complete lack of seriousness all the time. Do not take something that is working well and double it. Just keep working it well.
The High-Performer’s Secret: Discipline In An Over-Informed World
It is really good advice. That is up to the manager or the person running things to recognize where that line is. To take the goodness out of that. Out of curiosity, you have been around a lot of people. Athletic, high-achieving, military individuals. Are there things you have learned about people over the years, Steve?
When you say that, I want to say that people have changed, or common denominators that they have with the high-performing space. I will start with the common denominator in high performers. Discipline. Being able to do high-performing people, no matter what age, do what is good versus what feels good. More than not. What I mean by that could be, “I do not want to work out.” I know, but you may need to. “I do not want to take that critical feedback.”
The common denominator among high performers is discipline — doing what is good over what feels good. Share on XI know, but you may need to. I do not want to overplay discipline. It is not like people are 100% at this. No one has mastered it. The high performers that I have seen in three decades of doing work, the common denominator that is most pervasive is a sense of discipline. Discipline does not mean you have to get up and run a marathon every morning. Let us go with the young people. We have all been young people, and I am raising two young people.
I have a fourteen-year-old daughter and an eleven -year-old daughter. There is discipline needed in their homework assignment. Did they get their lunch ready for the next day? Are they bringing their flute to school on Tuesday, which they were asked to do? Those things that all of us parents have to navigate through. I am trying to embed in our children a sense of discipline. The other part where I thought you were trending was where I saw some changes in behavior.
Obviously, I just held up the phone. That is a no-brainer. Social media, I get that. I want to go further. What I am finding among high performers is that it goes back to discipline. We are not wired for this level of information at our fingertips. That is the other common theme I am seeing. We have access to so much information. I would say that many of the audiences I am working with, and I put myself in this, Marc, we are overstuffed. We are over-informed. We are not geared for this level of content barrage.
That is interesting. Since the advent of AI, I feel like it has put us in positions to not really think critically. I know people who, the second a decision or a question comes up, that is where they turn. Whereas 5 or 10 years ago, that was not the case. It does make me wonder about what direction that moves us in. I love what you said earlier, and I think a lot of parents understand this.
We are not wired for this level of information at our fingertips — we are overstuffed and over-informed. Share on XDiscipline is really, from parent to child, you are teaching that, and eventually you are going to pass that baton to them. I try to point that out to my patients who come in. Why do mom and dad do this? Why do they care if you bring your flute? Why do they care if you do your homework? Eventually, that is going to be yours.
You are really good at what you do, Marc.
Thank you.
Your tone is encouraging. Discipline is hard because it is hard. Meaning if we are a parent and our goal is to be best friends with our children, discipline will not be the first option. Empowering will be, or we are going to encourage. Those are wonderful too. Discipline is not a hot topic. Imagine I am a keynote speaker.
We are called to be loved and respected by our children, but not necessarily liked all the time. Share on XI am going to win the audience over by being like, “We are going to talk about discipline now.” You are like, “I cannot wait.” I hope we then get into feedback, and I hope it is critical. After that, maybe we’ll talk about doing hard things. That is the laughter I am talking about. We as parents, coaches, teachers, and leaders are all of these things, and most of your audiences and viewers are in that category.
I encourage all of us to put discipline as a top priority and then be prepared that your child may not like you all the time. That is okay. I am struggling with it. My fourteen-year-old and eleven-year-old do not always like Dad because I say, “Where is your flute? Is the flute not supposed to be in the back seat of the car on Tuesday and Thursday?” That is not a metaphor, literally. Where is your flute, Bailey? You were supposed to have it.
You know this, Steve, but they are not supposed to like us all the time. We are probably doing our job wrong.
I agree with you. We are then back to what we talked about. We are overplaying it. It is easy. I can say, “I want to be empowering. I want to empower my children.” If you overplay that and you are enabling, or “I want to honor and speak life.” I hear that a lot. “I speak life to my children.” Great. If you overplay that, you are never saying no. All of this is good until we overplay it. We are called for our children to respect and obviously love us, but certainly not like us all the time.
Digital Discipline: Modeling Connection For The Next Generation
Your word you started with is connection. For so many parents, that is what they are looking for. They are looking for a connection with their kids. They want to maintain that as they get older. There are so many layers to it. We have to be uncomfortable sometimes. They have to be uncomfortable sometimes. Parenting is the hardest job I have ever had.
It just pushes us in ways that nothing else really can. Let me jump in for a minute, specifically on mental health and wellness. I am just curious about the overlay with this. Here you are, your company focuses so much on the connection and the communication, and how that shapes and assists teams.
There has been a huge influx of young adults with both anxiety and depression, among other things. It has really overshadowed a lot of different things. It has changed people’s high school trajectory. It has changed the athletes’ trajectory. It has ended careers in some cases. I am wondering from the Game On position, tell us a little bit about how you see mental health and wellness for young people.
It goes back to what we were discussing on the phone. Young people have access to so much information that it can be a beauty and it can be a challenge. It is the information on where people are, information on comparison, information on just what is going on in the news, information on who is an influencer, and making money on the side hustle. “I am not worthy.” All of those components are in play. That I see as pervasive.
We should be intentional about disconnecting so we can connect. Share on XI will tell you, Marc, I do not know if we as adults are massively any different. We are just a little bit older. We sit here and say, “These kids are on the phone.” I am on the phone too. What I see is an over-information society right now. I do not think it is relegated to just our high school and college-age children. I am always about, and we talked about this before the podcast, I am always about, “What is the solution?”
Here is the other thing, Marc, and you do this for a living, so I appreciate it. If we just talk about this all the time, we are just going to be in a cycle of talking about it. As parents, the solution is to model the behavior that you are looking for with your children. As easy as it is to work really hard and then sit on that brown leather couch with a glass of wine or some food and just scroll on our LinkedIn or our Facebook, our children are watching. We should be really intentional about disconnecting so we can connect.
If that means taking a walk, if that means going and throwing the ball with your child, that means helping them with their math assignment, that is just as challenging for you as a parent as it is for their child, because math has changed so ridiculously that I do not understand the equation. All of these things, do it, and it goes back to discipline. That is a way for me to get to it. I see a lot of anxiety, but I also think that we, as leaders, parents, and coaches, can help mitigate that by doing very simple things with our children. That might seem so pedantic to us, and it might be wildly revolutionary for our child.
The Professional Trap: Prioritizing The Right Audience
That is amazing, Steve. Well said. Those little things that we either do currently or know how to do, and we are not sharing with our kids, whether it be yoga, working out, journaling, taking a walk, or just turning off all the gadgets and hanging out. I love it when families say, “We played a board game last night.” Those things to me, I feel like as a parent, my kids are older, my kids are 25 and 23.
As a parent, I feel like one of my roles is the manager of a team. It is my job in some ways to set that tone and to point out to my kids, “Look, I am a human being. I am disciplined with certain things, and there are certain things I am just simply not.” It is a work in progress. I love what you said. I think of parents as that toy that your kids have without the off switch. We are always teaching all the time, whether we want to or not.
If we are mindful of that, we are really paying attention. If we are sitting around scrolling on our phones and then we ask our kids not to use their tech as much, we are really sending the wrong message. I love the solution, which I think is the practicality of that, and for parents to walk away saying, “I like what Steve and Marc were talking about just in terms of what can we do?”
I love that you are going that route. Another, just going with practical, we call them good-to-dos. Good-to-know is what we are talking about. Good-to-know is, “Social media can be exhausting, and there is so much information, and we are all scrolling.” It is important to acknowledge what is good to know. The good-to-dos are really simple. They are so simple that I think as adults we will sometimes be like, “That cannot be it.” It could be like asking good questions.
It could let your child finish their sentence. It could be that the message you are sharing may not resonate for years. That is probably the hardest one. Trust that you are planting seeds. These are all, just have a cell phone down at dinner. Anyway, all of these things. Parenting is really challenging. The other note I want to give you is, I think it is important for all of us, you have a profession, and you are really good at what you do, Marc.
I am focusing on running my business, and those parents and teachers, I always say parents, teachers, leaders, coaches, because I feel like everyone falls under that category. You are leading your children. You are coaching. I can only speak for myself. I speak in front of lots of audiences. Thousands of people, sometimes 25 people, sometimes 5,000. It is so important. I am struggling with this, so I am being vulnerable.
It is so important that we do not let our business audience become more important than our family audience. It is so important. Listen, I could become one of your clients’ best friends because you are seeing them for one hour a week, and you are there to support them. They applaud you, but you are not doing life with them, Marc. I am not doing life with this room of 500 executives. They have been seeing me for an hour and a half. I know what I am doing. I am very good at what I do.
I teach my session. I have my improv games. I laugh. We go through the process. I speak life into them. They are empowered, and off they go. Of course, they are going to be like, “You are great,” because they do not see me in my mind. Parents, we must make sure that we do not put the audience that is easy to win over ahead of the most important audience, which is our partner, our spouse, our significant other, our children, our nieces, our nephews, and our immediate family, in all of our imperfections. Family first.
Red Ball Theory: Utilizing Play As A Strategic Pivot
I love that. I have to tell you, your intro, Steve, is impressive. I did a lot of homework and read about all the things that you have done, and you are very good at what you do. There is one really important thing that I can hear in your voice that you do really well. You like to have fun.
I try not to take things so seriously. It puts me in a position of joy and gratitude. I am not always on. I appreciate that compliment, Marc. I always counter it by saying that for the audiences and viewers, it does not mean that everything is rainbows and unicorns throughout the day. I really try to default to levity, joy, gratitude, and humor without overplaying it. Nothing is serious.
I will tell you an interesting story about that. I counted once. I coached my son’s baseball team for nineteen seasons. It was a long time all the way through. Lots of practice, lots of fun. I always said to him I had the best seat in the house to watch him play, and it was my privilege to do that. I remember one particular practice where I had a bunch of 10-year-olds or 11-year-olds out on the field, and they were being really difficult with each other, sniping at each other, and really having a hard time. I was really frustrated and did not know what to do. I made a really good decision in retrospect.
I went out to my car, and I had a red kickball in my car. I got the kickball, and I came back to the field, and I said, “Everyone put their gloves down.” They thought I was crazy. I said, “We are playing kickball today.” They are like, “What is going on, coach?” I said, “We are playing kickball. We are having fun.” Wouldn’t you know it, little by little, the parents outside the fence came onto the field. Before I knew it, everyone was laughing. Everyone was having fun. It was the best practice I ever had. I tell you that story because we lose sight of the fact that we do these things for enjoyment. We are supposed to. You ask me what our records were. I have no idea. I do not remember.
They will not either. Coach Lehman brought out that red ball. When these young men and women are in their mid-twenties, they are going to carry that forward. I actually love that story you just told. There is a speaker in my industry called Kevin Carroll. Great presenter. He has a focus on the power of play. He talks about this red ball theory. What is behind that?
There is dopamine release, there is serotonin release, there is safety. There is also a little bit of a pivot. We are doing a cone drill. We know as coaches there are orange cones out there, but the kids, if we can remember that and now start to think, where are there other ways in our lives? Not just as parents of younger people, but as parents.
As you say, you have children in their twenties. As leaders, coaches, businessmen, and women. How can we find ways to put red ball theory in play, to put humor in play, to put cone drill in play? It does not mean every day in the office you go to the fun zone and jump around on a trampoline. That is not what we are talking about. Really good story on the red ball. I love it.
Good To Know Vs. Good To Do: Reclaiming Personal Wellness
I appreciate it. Life right now can be really hard for some families. Take those breaks and really enjoy the time that you have with your kids. My kids have been off to school, and I know what that feels like as a parent. They leave the house, and it is like, “All right.” As a parent, there are a lot of shifts that we go through. I have learned over the years to appreciate every moment that you have.
As you say, it is not always roses and sunshine. We have a job to do in many ways as parents. Steve, I really appreciate your spending time with us. I am really fascinated by Game On. I am wondering, down the road, let us say parents, coaches, or the military are tuning in. How do they get a hold of you?
It is very kind of the promoter. I always do this. My team laughs at me. I say “WWW”. I do not need to say “WWW” anymore. Got it. My fourteen-year-old is like, “Dad, I think we know.”
That is old school.
“Go to the World Wide Web.”
I am so old that I remember when it came out.
Our website is GameOnNation.com. On that site, you can see our core programs are tailored and the custom programs that we do live. We also have virtual training, and we are building what we call asynchronous on-demand training as well to help address some of the things you and I have discussed. The power of play, what is good to know versus good to do, using improvisation as a gateway to land on some practicality. I am passionate about this.
I do want to briefly share what you talked about with the red ball. It is really important. I want to encourage your audiences. The red ball, the orange cone, and the board game, these things are all fairly accessible, and they are fairly well-priced. Meaning that most of these antidotes are free. If I am in the business of making money off of your illness, I do not want you to play with a red ball, and I do not want you to take a walk, and I do not want you to play catch because it does not play into my business model.
I am just a little bit more toward the challenge side than the support side. I know you talk about this as well, but I just want to encourage everyone. If you are scrolling and you are reading about various sales that are out there, many times, they are not interested in your wellness. They are interested in you needing their product.
It really comes down to our pivot as a parent. Are we willing to pivot? That is why I tell the story. Had I not left that field that day, I would not have taught myself that lesson. I always tell parents to be willing. Be willing to see what is out there and recognize that if we pivot, there is a whole tidal wave that happens as a result. Steve, thanks for spending the time with us. I really appreciate it. I had shared with you offline.
One of the things that the show began doing last year was having people recommend a friend, a coworker, or a relative. You were so kind as to recommend people offline to us. I thank you for that. I will work to get them on the show in the future. Thank you so much for taking the time. I know you are super busy. Telling us all about Game On and sharing your information. We really appreciate it.
Thanks so much, Marc. Great conversation.
Have a great day. Take care, Steve.
Important Links
- Steve Shenbaum on LinkedIn
- Game On Nation
- Game On Nation on Facebook
- Game On Nation on X
- Game On Nation on Instagram
- Game On Nation on YouTube
About Steve Shenbaum
Steve Shenbaum is the Founder and President of Game On Nation, a nationally recognized communication and leadership firm. A former actor and comedian, Steve has spent nearly three decades developing MILE™, an interactive, game-based curriculum rooted in the science of Game Dynamics, helping teams strengthen communication, leadership, and culture.
Game On was based at IMG Academy for nearly a decade, where Steve and his team led communication and leadership training for thousands of elite athletes, executives, and organizations. Today, he works with Fortune 100 companies, professional and college sports teams, government agencies, and all branches of the U.S. Military.
Steve has trained 12 #1 overall draft picks, worked with Olympic and World Cup champions, and recently had his work featured on HBO’s Hard Knocks with the Buffalo Bills. He’s been featured in outlets like Sports Illustrated, The New York Times, ESPN, and ABC News.
Steve lives in Bradenton, Florida with his wife Jacky and their two daughters.
Reading about mental health is hard. Let’s schedule a free consultation.