Touring life is often viewed through a lens of glamour, but the reality involves a grueling mental and physical balancing act. Developing true resilience in music requires grit, a disciplined routine, and the courage to chase the unknown even when the path is unclear. In this episode, we sit down with Jay Nazz, the longtime drummer for the acclaimed country Americana band Reckless Kelly. We explore his journey from his roots in Connecticut to the bustling stages of Austin, diving into how he maintains mental clarity on the road and why he believes vulnerability is a professional superpower. If you’ve ever wondered what it really takes to sustain a career in the arts, Jay’s candid story on finding purpose amidst the chaos offers a powerful roadmap for your own journey.
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Finding Your Beat: Resilience In Music With Jay Nazz
I know I always say this but I am super excited to have my guest Jay Nazz. Jay, how are you?
I’m excited to chat with you, too.
Jay and I have known each other a long time and we’ll get into that in a bit. Jay is a member of the acclaimed country Americana band Reckless Kelly. A group known for its independent spirit, loyal fan base, and powerful live performances. As their drummer, Jay has been a driving force behind the band’s rhythm and energy helping shape their sound both on tour and in the studio.
With years on the road and in the spotlight, Jay understands the pressures that come with performing, constant travel, and sustaining a long-term career in music. His experience offers a unique perspective on resilience, identity and staying grounded while navigating success. On the show, Jay brings an honest voice to the conversation around mental health, balance and what it takes to stay connected to yourself in a high demand environment. Welcome, Jay. I have to say you’re the first guest I’ve had that I grew up with.
That is awesome.
Jay and I both grew up in a lovely town in Connecticut. We had some awesome memories as kids. We were just chatting about it a little bit offline. We’ve obviously grown into our careers. You as a musician and me as a therapist. I want to just kick it off and ask. A lot of people may not necessarily know your story and how your musical experiences started. Give us a little sense of your journey.
From Connecticut To Austin: Jay’s Musical Beginnings
My dad’s a musician. He was doing it professionally and then started doing it on the side once he had the family and got a full-time job. When I was fourteen, I started playing drums with him at weddings and a couple bars in Connecticut. When I got to college, I started getting a little burned out from it. My drums went everywhere I went but I never took them out when I was at school and stuff. I played a little bit.
At one point, I was having challenges in college where I wasn’t taking care of the things I was supposed to. I got off track and I’d go back to Simsbury and stay with my parents and try to get my stuff together. I went back and I struggled with discipline in college. I had about five classes left and my friends were going to graduate ahead of me.
I was going to ensure that my parents moved in the fall. I told my friends, “Let’s go across the country.” The greatest thing pulling me there was, I’ve never seen snow on a mountain in the summertime. I was like, “There’s Bend Oregon. There’s these mountains in the background. There’s snow in the summer. Let’s drive out there.” We went out there with my college friends and one high school friend who you know, Mike Healy. He’s in my high school band.
I was like, “Bring your guitar. I’ll bring my drums. Let’s play for tips or something.” We got out there. He got a temp job and he was fine. One day while he was riding his bike, a car hit him. He broke his shoulder. We were shut down. I just got my drums there. We went to a bar one night a couple weeks after this happened. It was an open mic night and I saw these guys setting up the stage. I was like, “Why don’t you have a drummer?”
I asked the bartender, “Can you tell these guys I’m from Connecticut and see if I can sit in with them?” I went up and played a couple songs with them. Afterwards, the bass player came up and he’s like, “Our drummer and guitar player quit days ago. Can you fill until we find somebody else to take their place?” I was like, “Yes. I’ve got my drums. I’ve been here for about a month and a half. I can do that.” In the course of that month and a half, we bonded on so many levels, musically and personally. Eventually, they said, “We want you to move to Texas with us.” This was Bend Oregon where I met them. We got an opportunity to play every night of the week and get better. I was like, “Let me go home. I have to quit college and I’ll meet you guys down there.”
That was many years ago. I had to deliver that news to my parents, which was not easy. I’ll always say I’m blessed because they could have reacted in a way where it’s like, “We did all this for you. This is unacceptable. You don’t know what you’re getting into. You’re not appreciating what you’ve been given. You’re out.” Instead, I could see the concern in their face but they supported me. Because of that, I’ve been able to live a life that’s met my own expectations of what I would say is joy.
That’s amazing. What a cool story from beginning to end. I’m wondering as I’m listening to you. Was there a point where you realized music wasn’t just a hobby? It was like something you needed in your life.
When I played with those guys because it was the first time I was in a situation. I was playing original music. I’d never been around a band that was so professional in a lot of ways yet completely young and crazy but they’re passionate and have purpose. That’s what planted the seed. When I got to Austin, that town was filled with great musicians. I remember feeling uncomfortable when somebody would ask me, “What are you doing?” To say I’m a musician.
I played drums. When I moved to Austin, all of a sudden, I’m a musician now. Everything’s coming from this. It snuck up on me and this is one of those things where I do believe in planting our frequencies in the universe. Somehow, even though I never thought about it. I envisioned that I would always wind up playing drums. Somehow, that opportunity found me.
The Reality Of Touring: Life On The Road With Reckless Kelly
Reckless Kelly is a well-known band. You guys have toured for a long time. Tell us a little bit about life on the road. To a casual fan, it seems glamorous but I bet you it’s exhausting as well.
It is, especially in the early days. We traveled in a 78 Suburban. I don’t think it had AC. There were five of us and two of the window rollers were broken. If it started to rain, you had to pull the window roller off and pass it on the back to roll up his window. You’re sleeping wherever you can and stuff. The beginning is tough. You’re youthful and young enough to say, “I want this bad enough,” and you’re willing to roll with it.
That’s just challenging on its own. Even as we came up a bit and finally got into a van and then finally got into a tour bus. I’ll fast forward to the tour bus thing. Some people like me need a routine. If I get off routine, I’m messy. You’re always on the go. I’m okay with that but also, no one’s going to blink an eye if you crack a beer at 11:00 in the morning or come out of your bunk. The culture is different. That’s a challenge. You got to keep your head above that.
Trying to be healthy and stuff is a challenge. As I’ve gotten older, I have my routine on the road. It’s so strict. Every day, I insert the town. I’m going to show up and still do the same thing. It can be tough and sometimes, there’s not a lot of people at the show or sometimes there is. It might after night. The other thing is, emotionally it’s difficult because we always say, “Even though it’s a Tuesday night, it’s a big fans Friday night to see.”
They come with this energy and you have to rise to the occasion. Every night, you’re on the road. If you do three weeks and you have two nights off. It’s like an outpour of energy every single night. Especially when you get fans that are maybe in the military. You can tell they’ve got a lot of weight on their shoulders. You got to show up to let them know like, “I appreciate how much we mean to you.” It can drain you.
When something is happening in the world and people are freaked out, for a moment, you’re playing a song. You can see them closing their eyes or singing along. It’s powerful. Share on XI can imagine. It’s a good segue. I talk to my young adults in the office a lot about the healing powers of music and how music can be so soothing and special for people. Here you are. You’re putting it out there. You’re giving a concert, as you said, at times to people that are going through it. I wanted to get a sense from you about the healing powers of music. What are your thoughts?
It’s amazing because some of the fans that I know or I’ll say friends too have a lot of things going on or they’re dealing and struggling with stuff. It’s amazing to me how therapeutic it can be. I can get to that point, but I always have this little filter of, “I wish I could just stop listening to the drums and what he did there.” I have music I can just listen to but for most part, I get caught up. It’s like a process in my head.
It’s an amazing thing. Our last show was the day before everything shut down. They wanted us to play the show and there were people that bought tickets and a lot of them showed up. We played around 9/11. We’ve gotten to war and stuff, we’ve been there to play music for all these major events where people were scared or struggling or uncertain. One day when something’s happening in the world that people are freaked out, and for a moment, you’re playing a song. You can see them just closing their eyes or singing along or whatever. It’s powerful.
You talk to me offline a little bit about playing anthems for some baseball games and having been to many over the years and watched many of the years. The national anthem and concerts that you play touch a chord with people. For some people, that could be the five minutes of peace that they get in their day listening to that one song.
It’s awesome. It’s a real gift that you shared, Jay. Music is such a big part of my world. At the end of the year, I’m always amazed when my Spotify will say how much I’ve listened to music. I’m like, “That are a lot of music.” I’m curious to ask. As a musician on the road with exhaustion, stress and anxiety is something we all deal with and we all deal with differently. I wondered, as a musician, what’s your go-to?
Finding Balance: Self-Care And Musical Influences
I exercise on the road in hotel gyms and things like that. It’s a reset. It’s a moment to have a little space for myself. My endorphins are giving me positive energy to think about things. Also, as I said, I don’t always adhere to this stuff. What I’m eating is a little bit and stuff. Those things make a big difference. Trying to find that space from myself and the band when I can.
Some guys will be on the bus for eight hours and then we pull in. They’ll sit on the bus until showtime or whatever. As soon as that bus stops, I get off the bus and start walking around. I go around town. Maybe there’s a record store and walk to the hotel. I move and have a little time that’s dedicated to me is pretty important.
Great advice. Eating, sleeping, exercising is like that all the time with young adults. It leads me to ask. What’s on your playlist when you’re listening to music? What bands are you listening to?
It’s all over the map. There’s guys that I know like in Texas. In my place here, I got a little turntable and I’m slowly building my collection here. I bought Bill Withers and James Taylor. I got some Tony Bennett. I love George Jones in the morning. I’ll listen to classical music. I am just all over the place. Ryan Adams is an artist that I listened to that I feel like it decompresses me and stuff like that. Also, Neil Diamond.
Awesome. Everybody’s got their interests and their go-to. I appreciate it. It sounds like, for you, that’s soothing as well personally outside of playing. That you’re listening to other people’s music. I imagine you listen to it a little bit differently than maybe the casual fan night.
Sometimes, I do. I try not to, especially like the drums. The drums are in the back of the band but when I listen, they are in the front. One of the stories I love to tell is when I was in high school. I used to listen to Blues Traveler all the time. I’m a huge fan. A couple of those songs I probably listened to thousands of times. When I got down to Austin, I was at a bar and this girl goes, “That’s somebody I wanted to introduce you to.”
For whatever reason, Blues Traveler happened to be at this bar. It was just so interesting. I was so starstruck by the connection to the music and beyond. About three months later, we started keeping in touch a little bit. John came up and played harmonica at one of our shows. It was a very cool connection and stuff. That band was so meaningful to me in high school. To have that moment was pretty incredible.
Navigating Anxiety And Resilience As A Young Adult
It’s funny you should say that. Of all the kids that I work with, certainly video games is a big one, but music seems to be like that in their world all the time. I have kids walking into my office with headphones in. They’re listening to music as I’m walking out of my office. It seems to be laced within their world like it was when we were kids. They’re listening to it a little bit easier than we were then. It didn’t quite like the technology that they have now, but certainly, it’s a big part.
It’s a big part of a person’s world. I’m curious about your thoughts. Adolescents have changed a lot since we were adolescents. The pressure has gone way up. Adolescence, unfortunately, now is way more anxious. The depressive rates are way higher. The suicide rates are way higher, even in the last ten years. To give you an illustration, so ten years ago, suicide was the 12th leading cause of death. Now, it’s number two.
It’s moving in the wrong direction in many ways. Kids are around that. They’re around that all the time. Whether it’s a friend, friend of a friend, contemporary or whomever. That makes growing up challenging. I wondered from your perspective. You’re essentially talking to young adults on this show. If you could offer a piece of advice to a 16 or 17-year-old kid who hasn’t left high school yet, but it’s about to and about to encounter their journey. What would you tell them?
I couldn’t imagine having social media documenting my every step and having everybody’s other everybody else’s step putting my face. I had times in my life where I was picked on or made fun of. I didn’t feel confident and stuff like that. You have to remember that these are the times that build you. They develop you. They create a certain type of skin that you might have. Adversity and challenges aren’t always. You’re getting pushed back. You’re about to launch.
You have to be patient and realize that time heals things. It’s your specific journey. If you don’t pay attention to these challenges and adversities that are put in front of you, you’re going to miss opportunities to grow, become strong, and then eventually, tell somebody else, “I went through this.” My dad told me this story once and it’s probably just a generic story. It’s about a guy that got hit by a car and was unable to walk.
He was confined to a wheelchair and they’d ask him, “Would you change anything about that?” He said, “No, because I wouldn’t want to be the person I was then without becoming who I am now.” You think about that. A lot of people’s first reaction is like, “You’ve lost your ability to move around. That’s got to be hard.” I know it is but there’s things that come out of it that are way bigger and way more positive than that one negative interaction.
It’s a great answer. It’s a great piece of advice. I like how you said that. Sometimes kids are recognizing the effect. They’re not seeing the larger picture and that’s what you’re talking about.
I’m always like that because if you’re not careful, especially in a culture, as I was saying where you have drugs and alcohol if you’re not willing to stay the course on certain things. I want to grow. This is something that means a lot to me. I always think about that stuff. This thing about the lobster. Every time a lobster sheds X amount of times in its lifetime, it’s shell. Right before it sheds to get the new shed or shell, it’s in the most pain. We forget that sometimes the hardship and knowing you’re going to be alright, you’re going to miss something that grows. Especially if you don’t stay that course.
I agree. I missed you. I’m listening to your talk and this gentle soul about you. You’ve had it since you were a kid. I remember thinking about it when we were younger. You have a certain way about you that is unique to you, Jay. I can imagine that comes out through your music. I’m curious. The word resilience comes up a lot in my office. It’s like what you’re talking about. How do you balance back from adversity? What you’re touching on is a mindset or a viewpoint. You must have experienced some resilience in your career as a musician. What helped you bounce back? What helped you get through certain things or adversities that you faced?
Overcoming Adversity: The Power Of Therapy And Taking Risks
For one, I’m a huge advocate of therapy. I think it’s great nowadays that it’s more acceptable than it was like in my parent’s generation or whatnot. I like to think about it like going to the gym. You don’t have to stop when you’re in great shape. Having your network of people around you and those resources to use them when you’re confused about what’s going on around you. For me, always believing and having faith that if I continue to seek out what I’m going after. Eventually, I’m going to get it.
As said, keep your eye on the larger picture of what’s going on and what could happen. If you give up, you could give up one hour before everything was about to happen for you. That would be awful. For me, it’s making sure that I’m okay with a little bit of suffering and a little bit of adversity and not being comfortable.
Keep your eye on the larger picture of what's going on and what could happen. Share on XI’m okay with that. Be okay with reaching out to those people or that network you have to get some guidance and perspective. We tend to think we see everything how it is. Even myself included, I look at certain situations and things that I believe is a certain way, but I know there’s a lot of different ways to look at it. I’m not always right about the data I’m processing to assess that situation.
Well said. I want to use your story for a minute to illustrate that. Thinking back to that night that you’re in that bar and you see that there’s no drummer and you inquire about it. I’m thinking, how many young adults do I know in that position would have said nothing? That wouldn’t have put themselves out there. To me, it seems simple because you’re taking a risk. It is uncomfortable. They could say no but look how it panned out. What an incredible and awesome domino story of one thing leading to another and leading to another and here you are. It led to a career.
Embracing Discomfort: The Role Of Risk And Guts In Success
Usually, it’s more about my personal development than exterior things. I’ll miss a handful of opportunities and each time I miss the opportunity to take a step in a direction. Whether it’s like when you’re younger. You’re talking to a girl or something like that. After a few times of being like, “I should have done it and I didn’t.” You go up and you’re nervous and everything feels like, “I put it all out here now.”
It’s amazing how the more you do that, the easier it becomes like public speaking. All these different things. It’s everyone’s first time at some point. It’s putting yourself out there in that way. You can’t always predict. Sometimes you say, “I don’t want to go to this thing. It’s not going to be what I want or whatever.” You can’t always predict life.
No doubt. You look for those opportunities. Those opportunities can lead to other opportunities. It’s that willingness to say, “I’m going to put myself out there. I’m going to be uncomfortable.” It’s okay to be uncomfortable. That’s how we grow. I’ve seen that over and over again in my career. I’ve seen it in patient’s lives over the years. If we don’t, we flatline. Back to the battle of the bands in high school and how many of those kids dreamed of being a musician. It’s funny, Jay. I feel like some of that comes down to talent but some of that also comes down to guts. Being willing to take that step.
I agree. There’s a lot of great drummers that’s so much like me that maybe I didn’t go to that bar that night or maybe I didn’t ask to play. Because of that chance, an opportunity exposed itself. I felt like, “I got to rise out of the cage.” I got to start playing drums and practice more than I ever did in my life. That’s a big part of it. It’s having the guts. If you have some discipline to come up with a plan and a routine to develop your skill, whatever it is. You can do anything.
Part of the show, Jay, is I ask my guests and you can certainly think about it and get back to me on this. I asked my guests to nominate a friend, a co-worker, or a relative that they think would be good to interview in the future. Someone who may have a perspective that young adults would want to hear. I’ll have you think about it. Maybe get back to me and let me know if you have someone in mind. I would love to reach out to that individual and keep the conversation moving forward.
I wanted to say. The funny thing is I’ve been following your stuff and I enjoy it. From everything I’ve said that we’ve talked about, clearly, having people like you being a part of people’s resources and network. How cool is it that, all of a sudden, you were talking to me about participating with you on this and I never would have thought. It’s cool. As I said before, it’s awesome how genuinely you care about your work, people and stuff because we need so much of that these days.
If you have some discipline to come up with a plan and a routine to develop your skill, you can do anything. Share on XI appreciate it. Thanks, Jay. Right back at you. I can feel the excitement when we talk about music. You and I are lucky enough to have found our passions. There’s so many young adults out there that are searching. I appreciate your time and your energy. I’m sure you’re super busy, so I appreciate you taking some time out. Always brings a smile to my face. I shared that with you. There’s weird things about our childhood that I remember.
I remember that sign on your pool that says, “Welcome to our hool.” I notice there’s no P in there. I love that. It was so funny. That branded in my head. All those fun memories that we had as kids. It was awesome catching up with you. Great to hear about life. Thank you so much for spending time with us. I appreciate it.
Thanks for asking me to chat with you. I enjoyed it.
We’ll talk soon.
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About Jay Nazz
Jay Nazzola is a member of the acclaimed country/Americana band Reckless Kelly, a group known for its independent spirit, loyal fan base, and powerful live performances. As the drummer, Jay has been a driving force behind the band’s rhythm and energy, helping shape their sound both on tour and in the studio.
With years on the road and in the spotlight, Jay understands the pressures that come with performing, constant travel, and sustaining a long-term career in music. His experience offers a unique perspective on resilience, identity, and staying grounded while navigating success.
On Normalize It Forward, Jay brings an honest voice to the conversation around mental health, balance, and what it takes to stay connected to yourself in high-demand environments.
Reading about mental health is hard. Let’s schedule a free consultation.