Eating Disorder Archives

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Dr. Emily Gordon | Eating Disorders

How Body Image And Eating Disorders Affect Families And Youth With Dr. Emily Gordon

November 25, 2025September 30, 2025

Body image and eating disorders aren’t just clinical issues; they’re lived realities shaped by culture, technology, and family life. Drawing on nearly 25 years in private practice, licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Gordon explores how perfectionism, social media, and comparison culture amplify these struggles — and how parents can support teens and young adults without adding to the noise. She mixes practical strategies with warmth, showing how boundaries, honest dialogue, and tuning in to one’s inner experience can become powerful tools for resilience and healing.

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How Body Image And Eating Disorders Affect Families And Youth With Dr. Emily Gordon

I am super excited to have Emily Gordon join us. Emily, how are you?

I’m good. Thanks.

Let me read a quick intro, and then we’ll dive right in. Emily is a licensed clinical psychologist with almost 25 years of experience. Dr. Gordon maintains a private practice in Natick, MA, where she provides therapy, supervision, consultation, and psychoeducation. She specializes in treating eating disorders and body image disturbances in adolescents, young adults, and women of all ages.

Emily often works with people navigating life transitions and parents looking to better understand and support their developing teen, and better care for themselves along the way. She enjoys speaking and writing about topics relating to eating disorders and body image, adolescent development, young adulthood, and parenting. In addition to our work with teens and families, Emily is also a parent to three teenagers. Emily, welcome. How are you?

I am good. Thanks. I’m glad to be here.

From Practice To Parenthood: Dr. Gordon’s Journey And Expertise

Welcome to the show. We’re excited to have you. First, I’m going to flip-flop and start with the last thing I said. Three teens. Tell me. How old are we talking?

Two are young adults. I don’t know if I can say teenagers anymore. Teenagers are so much easier. I have 2 in college and 1 in high school.

Like me, you’re around this personally and professionally. This age bracket, that is. You and I treat similar-aged individuals. We treat middle school, high school, college-aged, and beyond. Why don’t we start off with you telling us a little bit about your practice?

I have an office here in Natick. I have a lot of experience treating adolescents with eating disorders. I work with people in a dynamic, relational, IFS-informed way. I integrate CBT and DBT. I try to take a perspective of trying to understand what is going on for someone and how they tune in to the inside and tune out all of the outside. I’ve increasingly been working on supporting parents and people navigating mid to older life challenges. I’ve enjoyed doing that as well. I’m working on a range of issues.

It sounds like you cover a lot of ground in your office and see a lot of different people for a lot of different things. Eating disorders are such a fascinating specialty. I have that as a subspecialty of mine as well. My background is in family therapy. I was drawn to it because there’s such a family component to every individual who suffers from an eating disorder. I’m wondering if we could start with the basics. Can you tell my audience a little bit about what an eating disorder is?

With eating disorders, part of what’s so interesting about them is that they’re so complex. They impact so many different areas of life and functioning. An eating disorder is a focus on food, body, and preoccupation. What truly categorizes an eating disorder is a fear of fatness or gaining weight and an inability to maintain one’s health, however we are defining health.

There is a lot of talk about what is disordered eating versus what is an eating disorder. There are a lot of people on diets. There is all sorts of noise out there about what’s the right thing to do, what’s the healthy thing to do, what we should be doing, what we should look like, and what we shouldn’t look like. There is certainly a preoccupation in our culture. An eating disorder marks itself as this intense preoccupation in a way that gets in the way of health and healthy functioning.

That’s a good definition. That’s a challenging question I asked. That’s a good way of saying it. Having worked in hospital settings in the past, where I’ve eaten with patients who are severely impacted by eating disorders, meals take on a whole new level of intensity. I have seen patients being tube-fed and so forth. I don’t think people understand how impactful an eating disorder can be.

That’s very well said and important. What we also have to know and recognize is that eating disorders are incredibly serious. They have one of the highest mortality rates of all mental illnesses. That’s because it affects your mood and also your health, like your physical body. It is incredibly serious. We can’t talk about eating disorders without talking about this cultural piece. When you sit with somebody, whether you are treating them, or a friend, or a family member, it’s a brain-based illness. There’s something that happens in the brain that feels irrational sometimes. That’s what you’re speaking to.

Social Media’s Shadow: Impact On Body Image And Mental Well-being

I’m glad you brought that up. Maybe that’s a nice segue to talk about our culture and how that impacts things. I have a funny feeling that you and I can talk about this for hours. I promised I’d only take a little bit of your time, though. When it comes to this, social media has had a major impact on what I’ll call the competition amongst people.

I’m on Instagram and TikTok regularly for my business, and even LinkedIn to some degree. What I see in the social media world from young adults and what they post is disturbing and sad. It’s been a little bit since you and I were young adults. I often wonder what that would be like for us because we didn’t grow up with social media. Young adults have this interesting perspective. They don’t know anything but social media. I’m curious. I’ll ask you a huge question.

That’s a huge question, and I’ll try to answer that or speak to some of the themes and things that come up.

It’s perfectly fine. It’s a big one. How do you feel social media impacts body image?

There’s the larger issue first of social media and our culture, even before we get to eating disorders. I know your audience here is the college kids and young adult population. We have this culture of achievement, perfection, and having to be successful. There is all this pressure on all of us. Adults and parents are stressed. College kids and young adults are stressed. High schoolers are incredibly stressed.

One thing I want to say when I go on these shows is that we’re talking generalities. I understand that for each individual identity or population, it’s hard to come up with these generalizations, but we’re going to do that anyway for the purposes of this episode. There is this larger culture of achievement and perfection, and then we get into social media, appearance, looks, body image, and what we call diet culture. You said competition. I think what also happens is comparisons. Biologically, we compare ourselves to other people. There’s competitiveness.

When we talk about social media, what you and I may have first encountered with social media, however many years ago that was, the social media of today is very evolved and different. What’s driving social media now are the algorithms. That has added a whole new layer of danger, quite honestly, when it comes to all sorts of things.

What we know is that social media platforms get paid. They make their money by keeping your eyes on their platform. They’re competing with other platforms. How do they do that? They do that by making you feel bad about yourself. That’s the marketing industry. That’s the diet industry. That’s the cosmetic industry. The forces that we’re up against are these financially deep ways that these companies have of making us feel bad about ourselves, and then pushing us to more and more extreme content.

I know we’re here to talk about body image and eating disorders, but that has other risks in terms of truth, facts, and politics. This feeding us of more and more extreme information keeps us on the platforms. It keeps us feeling bad about ourselves. It keeps us feeling like we’re not okay the way we are and that we need to change. The magic bullet is, “If I look better, or if I eat this and not that, everything will be great. I’ll feel good. I’ll be happy. I’ll be able to compete with that other person.”

You probably have heard this. In the eating disorder field, we say that it’s about the food, but it’s not really about the food. It’s about something deeper in the way that people are using the behaviors around food and body to help them feel better. That is a valid and essential piece of how we feel good about who we are in this world, where it’s always in front of us. There’s always something more. There’s always something better. There’s always something coming at us. There are all these messages. We’re afraid to put it down. Teenagers are afraid to put it down because they want to be connected to their friends. They’re afraid that they’ll miss out on something, or they’re not there. It’s challenging.

Eating disorders are not really about the food. It's about something deeper, in the way that people are using behaviors around food and body to help them feel better. Share on X

The “Fast, Cheap, And Easy” Trap: Social Media’s Influence On Youth

It is, on so many levels. I feel like we could talk about this for months. I have a theory that I call fast, cheap, and easy. When I look at young adults, I feel like they’ve been groomed for fast, cheap, and easy. If things aren’t brought to you fast enough by Amazon, they create Amazon Prime so that everything’s fast. The kids that I work with love to eat fast food because it’s fast, cheap, and easy. They don’t care if it’s unhealthy. They love to eat that.

There are certain things in this world that aren’t fast, cheap, or easy. I try to point out to kids that most things in life that are fruitful take time, like school, for example. School is not fast by any means for kids. One of the loops that social media ends up teaching kids, whether it’s on purpose or not, is, “You can do this thing. Take this pill. Drink this. Do this. Do that. You’ll feel so much better.” Kids will order those things. Kids will buy those things. They’ll take those things and then, after the fact, find out, “That’s not the case. I ordered an item from a business, and they’re trying to make product.” In this world, if we want to feel better about ourselves, it takes time.

It takes time, depth, and tolerance of being able to tolerate discomfort, feelings, and disappointment. You’re right. There’s this fast, quick, and easy mentality. We can’t fault teenagers for that because that is the world in which they have grown up.

Agreed.

I don’t know why this moment stands out to me, but I had a baby in my arms, and I was pushing the button on the Keurig coffee machine. I had this moment of like, “We’re screwed if my kid thinks that all you have to do is push a button and the coffee will come out.” Not to mention the whole farming industry and what it takes to get a coffee bean, but all you do is push a button, and you get a cup of coffee. That’s the world in which they’ve grown up, and it looks like everybody else is doing it. It looks like everybody else is happy and successful.

I had a fascinating conversation with someone who was talking about their feed. It made me think about not only the fast, quick, and easy, but also what is real and what is not real. There is this way in which when you spend so much time on your device or on whatever platform, it feels real, and yet it’s not real. It’s also not always true, and yet it’s very easy to think that it is. That’s another obstacle that we are up against.

When you spend so much time on your device or platform, it feels real, yet it's not always true. It's very easy to think that it is. Share on X

I’ve had lots of conversations with my teenagers. It depends on how long they’ve been intertwined with technology that they can understand some of these concepts, like when you talk about privacy, companies having your data, or where a screen belongs and where it does not belong. To me, the screen does not belong in the bathroom. Some people look at me like I have five heads when I say that. It depends on how old the kids are, what their experiences have been, how old they were during the pandemic, and what the family attitudes are around technology.

I agree. In many cases, I feel like when I talk to teens, these are what pacifiers are like to babies. They’re self-soothers. When you take a pacifier from a baby, it usually screams bloody murder. That typically will happen when a parent takes a phone from a kid. To me, that’s a little concerning because they’ve convinced themselves.

One of my ideas or something that I built my practice on and I fundamentally believe is that teenagers are pretty awesome. That’s why I love doing what I’m doing, and I love talking about what I’m talking about. It’s fascinating to me when you give a teenager an opportunity. I use the word teenager, but I mean teens slash young adults. To review, we know that teens are still developing. Their brains are still developing.

One of my supervisors once framed this for me in such a beautiful way. Even though somebody is 13 years old or 15 years old, they’re not 13 or 15 in every single way. Somebody who is 18 has some skills of a 9-year-old, some skills of a 12-year-old, and some skills of a 25-year-old. We’re talking about this wide range of skills and abilities.

We went away one time, and I kept saying, “We’re going to do a family day with no phones.” They finally looked at me and were like, “Do it already. Stop talking about it. We’re fine. Do it,” but I felt like I needed to prepare them. When you can ask them questions about what their experience is, what they notice, and what they think, it’s pretty awesome what they can come back at you with. I try to encourage those kinds of conversations.

Getting back to body image, I’m like, “What do you feel like when you open your feed? What’s in there? Who are you following? What are your friends posting?” We have a lot of rules in our house around what is okay and what is not okay. I’ll get a question, like, “Is it okay if I do that?” I’ll say, “What do you think? What do your friends think?” They’re like, “Is it okay if I ask my friends and I do this?” We’re having lots of conversations that are asking them to think and reflect.

Redefining Self-Care: Inner Wisdom In A Fast-Paced World

The theme of what you’re saying is so important, and that is parents need to be involved. They need to be having conversations with their kids. Whether it’s social media or phones, or both, they’re so impactful on kids. Sometimes, even picking their phone up and taking a look at their feed as to what’s in there can give you a sense of what they’ve been looking up and what the algorithm is sending them. That’ll tell you a lot. Let me pivot away from the topic of social media for a minute and ask this. Self-care is a buzz phrase that’s been talked about a lot in our field for many years. What do you think of self-care?

Self-care is tuning in and knowing yourself. In order to do self-care, you have to know. You have to be able to identify and label your own feelings. One of the things I’ve been working on is neurobiologically with our nervous systems and regulating ourselves. Whether we’re in the world, on social media, or dealing with conversations, we get activated.

It is being able to regulate our nervous systems to identify feelings, to be able to tolerate feelings, to be able to know what relationships feel good and are benefiting us, and what relationships are not working so great, to be able to have boundaries, and to speak up for ourselves. It’s nice to go for a walk or have a massage. Those things are important, too, but it’s way deeper than that. Self-care is building relationships so that you have them when you need them, and being able to make decisions about keeping yourself feeling good and healthy.

That’s a great answer. I’d love for my young adults who are tuning in to take heed to what you said. There are lots of ways to do what you suggested. Probably one of the most important things I heard is paying attention to yourself and asking the question, “Am I happy?” You could be lying to the rest of the world if you want.

In order to answer, “Am I happy?” you have to say, “What does this feel like to me?” Sometimes, as teens are developing, they may not be able to have the words that go with a feeling. It is like, “Where do I feel that in my body? What am I feeling? What am I not feeling? What’s happening in terms of my behavior? What are my goals, and how am I doing at meeting those goals?” It is asking yourself, “If my goal is to plan a soccer game, do well on a math test, or try out for a singing competition, am I taking the steps and making progress towards those things that I have identified as of value and meaning to me?”

Great point. What I was getting at was those teenagers who deep down know they’re not in a good place and are walking around with a mask on. Your point is very important. I would also point out the simplicity that we all have the ability to take those steps. Some kids may say, “I don’t want to,” or, “I’m feeling a little lazy,” or, “I’m not in the mood.” That’s fine, but we all still have the ability. I’m curious. I would love to put you on the spot. You seem like someone who could handle being put on the spot. I’m thinking of doing something new for my Instagram, and I would love to test it out on you. How about that? Can I do that? Is that good?

As long as you handle the technology part, because I tried something new on Instagram, and I failed at the technology.

College Transitions: What Parents Wish They Knew

No tech here. I’m just reading a question. I wanted to ask you a question as a mom. You’re stepping out of your therapist role and into your mom role. Having had two kids of my own go through college, I’m fascinated by what we learn as parents. Each year, there seems to be a good amount of learning. Let me read. As a mom who had kids go through college or even a couple of years of college, what’s one thing you wish you knew going into their first year?

My kids will tell you I can never take the psychologizing out of being a mom.

My kids tease me about it, too.

One of my friends had given me this advice, and I didn’t appreciate it at the time. As they’re getting ready to go, you feel like they’re leaving forever. The advice or feedback was that they come back, and you are building a new relationship. That has been important to remember. It’s also a lesson that’s related to something else I like to talk about, which is that change doesn’t necessarily mean bad. It’s different.

Change doesn't necessarily mean bad. It's just different. Share on X

One of the things I talk a lot with the kids I work with who are going to college is that there is a loss and a change. One of the things that we do a disservice to our aspiring college students is that we talk so much about, “These are going to be the best four years of your life,” or, “Aren’t you excited? You got into the school of your dreams.” We don’t talk about what it feels like to experience disappointment and what it feels like when we miss home. Those things are normal and okay. That’s something I wish I knew.

Those are good points. As you were talking about the transition and the loss, I think growth is hard. I also had a friend give me some advice, and it helped a lot. It was that they’re supposed to do this. As simple as that is, you forget that. You’re right. As a parent, there’s that loss and that sadness. It’s harder for families in some ways because our lives are the same, minus our kids. Their lives are new and exciting.

You’re on this precipice where you don’t know what’s coming. With a lot of things in life, we can look back and say, “It was okay. I got through it. I made it.” When we’re facing a precipice and we don’t know what’s coming, it can be scary. It’s also super cool to watch kids figure things out.

I agree.

It’s cool to watch them become themselves and find things. That is not to say that it’s always easy or that it’s always a smooth road, but to see them navigate, meet challenges, and find people and things that are so awesome is cool.

Empowering Students: Mental Wellness For College Life

I have one more question. This is more clinical, though. That was more for the moms. From our counselor backgrounds, when you think about kids that are reading this who are going off to college and their mental health and wellness, is there a suggestion you have for a kid that can help keep them balanced and managed heading off to school?

That is a great question and an important one. My advice would be similar to what I said, but tailored to a young person. It is that there are going to be ups and downs.

There will be ups and downs, and that is normal and expected. You're going to learn a lot about yourself. Share on X

No doubt.

That is normal, expected, and okay. I remember doing a semester abroad. I will never forget standing in the post office in a foreign country. At that time, we did not have cell phones or social media. I was trying to mail a letter home. I was in tears, and nobody would help me. Yet, those 3 or 4 months were the most amazing experience, not because they were easy, but because I saw, learned, grew, and did.

What I would say to students is, “There are going to be ups and downs. You’re going to learn a lot about yourself. You can do it.” Also, there’s so much support and help out there. It’s pretty amazing. There’s so much going on at these schools. There are so many people like you and me. It’s okay to want or need help. Everybody else doesn’t have it as together as you think they do.

That’s well said. I’m hoping my young adults are taking notes of your words. I would further that by saying I can’t tell you how many kiddos I’ve worked with that go off to school with maybe no anxiety or very little anxiety, and they come back with some challenges because growth is hard. The challenge can be high for some kids, but what you said makes so much sense and is so important. They need to realize there are people out there who can help and support.

In all different ways, whether that’s social, academic, health, or mental health. There are resources and support.

Kids have to be willing to ask and realize, too. If you don’t believe us, look it up on Google. Statistically, there are a lot of kids out there struggling. Homesickness is, to me, a pretty natural thing that most kids will encounter. I love what you said in your comments. “You’re going to do this. You’re going to get through this, and you’re going to grow as a result.”

I always tell kids, too, “If it’s not working for you, that’s okay. Let’s figure out what will.” Sometimes, we have to go and try things. Sometimes, we need to change our roommate. Sometimes, we need to change our school. Sometimes, we need to change our major. Sometimes, we need to change our path. We can deal with anything.

I transferred when I was in school, and I’m so thankful that I did. It brought me to UConn. When I was at UConn, I met one of my mentors there who opened up the whole world of counseling.

I know you’re trying to wrap up, but that’s another thing. We do this to kids. They feel like they have to know their path and that they have to have it figured out. I don’t know why we need to have kids applying to majors.

It’s a little crazy.

How do you know it’s seven? You don’t know things until you try to do things. There’s this pressure to know and to be sure. We can’t know things. All we can do is make one decision at a time. We as parents, as professionals, and as a culture can try to take the pressure off that you have to know and figure everything out, and trust that one thing will lead to another. It may not be the path you thought. That’s okay. Maybe it’s a more meaningful path or a more satisfying one.

Finding Your Path: The College Journey And Beyond

I completely agree. When kids come into my office at seventeen, they’ll go out of their way to tell me, “I’m majoring in Neurosurgery.” I’m like, “That’s cool.”

Some people know. Somehow, I knew I wanted to be a psychology major. I don’t know how I knew. I didn’t know that I was meant to be a psychologist, but it worked out for me. It doesn’t always, and that’s okay, too.

Let’s face it. When kids are in college, they’re pursuing something that they’re going to do for the next 40 years. To me, it seems like a decision we should take our time making. Some of my readers might be wondering because I often, at the end of interviews, ask you to nominate a friend, a coworker, or a relative to keep the conversation moving forward. I want to let everyone know that Emily and I have chatted offline. She has made some amazing recommendations that I do intend to follow up on. I appreciate all of the suggestions you made and want to thank you for your time and your perspective. It has been wonderful connecting with you.

Thank you. I agree. I somehow had a feeling we would have lots to talk about. Maybe we can continue the conversation someday.

I would love that. Thanks again. You have yourself a wonderful evening. You take care.

You, too.

Thanks.

Important Links

About Dr. Emily Gordon

Emily Gordon, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist with almost 25 years of experience. Dr. Gordon maintains a private practice in Natick, Massachusetts, where she provides therapy, supervision, consultation and psychoeducation.

She is licensed to practice in the states of MA, FL and VT. Emily specializes in treating eating disorders and body image disturbances in adolescents, young adults and women of all ages.

Emily often works with people navigating life transitions and parents looking to better understand and support their developing teens and to better care for themselves along the way.

Dr. Gordon graduated from Northwestern University and earned her Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology at Yeshiva University in New York.

She completed a Postdoctoral Fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychology at McLean Hospital in MA, and was part of the team that started the Klarman Center for Eating Disorders also at McLean. Dr. Gordon has since supervised psychology trainees at both McLean Hospital and at the Boston Institute for Psychotherapy.

She enjoys speaking and writing about topics related to eating disorders and body image, adolescent development, young adulthood and parenting. In addition to her work with teens and families, Emily is a parent to three teenagers. You can find more about her practice at www.dremilygordon.com or on Instagram at www.instagram.com/dremilygordon.

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Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Brittany Snitzer | Self-Love

Focusing More On Self-Love With Brittany Snitzer

April 15, 2025March 28, 2025

It is easy to get addicted to comparing yourself to others, and this mindset makes you feel insecure and incomplete. Instead of spending so much time looking at other people, why not focus more on self-love instead? Marc Lehman chats with Brittany Snitzer, a talented and innovative professional in the makeup industry, who explains how to let your authentic self shine at all times. She discusses the importance of surrounding yourself with people who fill your cup and let go of those draining it up. Brittany also explains how to escape the toxicity of social media platforms and turn them into spaces of positivity and belongingness.

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Focusing More On Self-Love With Brittany Snitzer

We are here to talk about mental health and wellness. I’m super excited to welcome Brittany Snitzer. Welcome, Brittany, to the show. Brittany is a talented and innovative professional in the makeup industry, known for her expertise in creating flawless trend-setting looks, with a passion for enhancing natural beauty and a meticulous eye for detail.

Brittany has built a reputation as a go-to artist for a wide range of clients, from individuals to high-profile events and photoshoots. Her ability to adapt to diverse styles and stay ahead of industry trends sets her apart, making her a sought-after name in the beauty world. Brittany, thank you so much for making the time to join us. Welcome.

Thank you for having me, Marc. I’m so excited to be here and discuss all topics related to mental health.

Brittany And Gal On The Go

Let me first ask. I love the name Gal on the Go. Can we jump into that and tell us what that is?

Thanks. I started my business in 2015. I was injured and not in the best mental place when I started my business. I was divorcing and working in a salon because I’m also a hairdresser. I couldn’t work because I had a back injury. Starting my business at such a low point, I needed to find something to do where my back and mental health would still be thriving. During my divorce, my clients started looking for me on social media, the beauty of social media.

One day, a client said, “I have something. Would you mind coming over to do my hair?” I was like, “Let me go try.” I was on six months of bed rest with a herniated disc and 4, 5, and 6. I was also medicated and not in a good place. Thankfully, my clients kept calling me. One tells one. An entire business was built on word of mouth. My mental health started to improve. My back started to feel better. I was looking for a name that was catchy and cute. I didn’t want to be just “girl on the go.” I needed a little more pizzazz. I thought, “Let me be Gal on the Go.” Years later, I’m still Gal on the Go.

What a cool story. First of all, how’s your back now?

It’s good. Thank you. I always try to be mindful of my injuries and everything that comes with that. I do a lot of yoga and Pilates to stay on my game.

Less Self-Comparison And More Self-Love

As you might guess, I don’t know a ton about the beauty industry, but I treat a lot of individuals with eating disorders. I wanted to chat with you about that. Many of our audiences are young adults, and some are young. They’re on social media and exposed to so much. I wanted to bring the topic up and ask your thoughts on that associated with wellness.

I shared before that I struggled with an eating disorder at 12 or 13 years old. I was diagnosed with bulimia and anorexia. I was hospitalized that same year at the Children’s Hospital in Montreal. I stand proudly in saying that I’m in recovery and will continue to stay in recovery, but it’s lifelong. Every day is a struggle. Dealing with anorexia, bulimia, or any eating disorder plays a big part in your mind. As we say in therapy, your mind often micro-focuses on things that might not even exist.

Anorexia and bulimia have touched my life a lot because they dictated why I’m in the beauty industry. It’s ironic because I chose a field that makes others feel good. I take a lot of pride in that. My clients and the people I speak to know that. Life as a woman is difficult. Add a bit of anxiety. You want to be this person in your head, but it doesn’t always work like that. It becomes very challenging.

Even as a young girl, I was always an achiever. I wanted to succeed the best, be the best, and have the best. That played a lot in my head. Eating disorders and the beauty industry have a lot in common because when you go online and look at social media, that’s what young girls see, the very thin, the very tall, or the more voluptuous. There are so many things in your face on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok about women’s beauty, and young girls gravitate toward that.

Even my young clients, I try to talk to them and say, “No matter what size you are, what color you are, or how you feel that day, you have to stay focused on what you have in front of you and not what you want to go out and do to yourself or play in your mind what you’re not good at or good for or not enough.” The talk about “not enough” is a lot, I find.

That part is a mindset, wanting what you don’t have. When you do have it, you want something else.

You’re still not happy. That’s a lot I find for women. Even women my age, who are at a pinnacle point and who are successful and beautiful, can’t seem to see that. They’ve done work and this, that, and the other. They’re still not happy with themselves. As a therapist and being in recovery, we talk a lot about loving ourselves but really loving yourself. What does that look like?

I’m glad you brought that up because so many of our audience. I think you’re speaking to our young and many of them. Let’s talk about that. What does it mean to love yourself? What does that look like to you?

Just because you are rich and famous does not necessarily mean you are okay inside. Share on X

The first thing is to accept who you are. The acceptance of, “Maybe I’m never going to be good enough for this person, that person, this parent, or grandparent, or that cousin,” or whatever the case is. “I’m good for bread. I’m doing good just for bread.” What does that mean for bread? It means, if I wake up and I’m having a bad day, how can I get out of my head to feel better? What do I need to do?

May that be meditating, working out, eating a healthy meal, talking to my therapist or my friends, taking a walk, being with my dog, and all those things. It’s self-acceptance and knowing, “I didn’t do X, Y, and Z today, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I didn’t post enough today. I got into a fight with my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love myself.”

I think asking that basic question. When you talk about acceptance, it’s so simple but so overlooked. I ask it all the time in therapy, “Are you happy?”

What does happiness mean?

It’s a good question.

I go back and forth, like, “What is it going to do to make me happy? Is it going to be buying a bag or helping somebody when they’re feeling like crap? What does that equate to?” A lot of people in my industry struggle with, “We could have everything in the world like collaboration deals, nice makeup, pretty face, and nice outings, but does that mean you’re happy?”

I would argue that it is not. A lot of individuals who seemingly have all of the material things oftentimes aren’t happy.

Most of the time, I meet and talk to my clients and people I come in contact with in the media. Just because you’re rich and famous and this and that and have Botox and filler doesn’t necessarily mean you’re okay inside. That was a bigger conversation.

Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child

It brings up the next thought of, “How do you get okay inside?” You and I have lived many more years than teenage kids. They’re figuring out how to be a young adult. We’ve tripped and fallen. We’ve done things that have allowed us to figure that part out. Let me ask you a question. When you think about what are some of the things you’ve done over the years that have made you, Brittany, a happier person?

It’s getting in touch with my inner child, and what about that? I wasn’t happy with it or didn’t fulfill or suffice my needs of not being good enough. I grew up with privilege. My parents were very accommodating. I went to private school, lived in a nice home, and all this and that. Sometimes, it goes beyond all those things. You remove the material things and then ask yourself what was lacking, “What didn’t I have,” besides materialistic. For me, it was a lot of going deep. I’ve been in a recovery program a few times already. I’ve had to work out why I choose certain people in my life or why I want to be like this person when I don’t want to be like this person. Why am I getting heavily influenced by people who don’t live in my shoes?

Great point. Great question. It happens all the time. If you think about how these devices train us, we’re constantly barraged with all of these images. It feels to me like when I look at Instagram or Facebook, the images women are bombarded with are an example of what you’re talking about, which is that they’re seeking something that they’ll never get to. They can never truly feel good about who they are because they’re always running towards something.

If you are putting out a positive image on social media, you will get back a positive image. Share on X

What are you running towards? What is the goal?

When I think about happiness, certain things bring me happiness. I’m sure certain things bring you happiness. One of those things is feeling mentally well.

Waking up and not feeling anxiety in the pit of my stomach, breathing in the good air, hugging my cute little dog, and knowing that I’m loved are things that I’m able to say, “I love myself,” and loving people around me openly without conditions.

A lot goes into that. I want to break that down a bit because it’s important for young people to understand this. You don’t get to be mentally positive or well-placed without a lot of work. The work sometimes is therapy, or joining a yoga class or a meditation class. The bottom line is making some time for yourself to take care of yourself. I find so many people don’t.

It’s easy to distract yourself by the noise, may it be substance, nightlife, or people who don’t want the best for you. If you surround yourself with things that can cloud your image of mental clarity, then you’re always going to stay stuck. You have to ask yourself, “What do I need to feel mentally clear?” For me, that’s staying away from substances and not going to bed past midnight. For me, that means eating healthy, taking nature walks, or talking to my friends who are there for me. Also, my clients and giving back to the community.

Surrounding Yourself With The Right People

You touched on a few things, but I want to pick up on one in particular. You mentioned having healthy people around you. It’s huge. I find that young people, a lot of times, will convince themselves that the people around them are healthy, love them, and care about them.

We have our rose-colored goggles on a lot. I’ve done it many times. You romanticize and fantasize about the people that you’re dating or the people that are around you. “Okay, whatever. This comment this.” No. We have to set in check and boundaries about the people who want the best for us. That may not be a ton of people. It might be just one. You eliminate a lot of the negative distractions and hyper-focus on what’s going to keep the peace in your brain. That’s when it clicks. That’s when it clicked for me, to be honest. Who’s feeding my soul and draining my soul?

We all have things that pop up in life. I work with so many college kids. Unfortunately, sometimes things pop up, like a death in the family or someone they love. They take a little bit of time away from school. I’m always curious when they get back who visits them first. It’s usually their true friends, the ones that care about them. “Brittany’s gone for 2, 3, 4 days or 1 week.” Someone’s texting you. Someone cares that you’re not there. As opposed to the other kids that you think are your friends and didn’t even notice you were gone.

You couldn’t have said it better. I have traveled around the world for work. In 2024, I’ve done a lot of traveling. It’s interesting to see who’s checking up on me or who is in my corner to know, “Did you arrive? Are you okay? Did you eat today?” It’s things like this. You’re saying something that resonates well with me because that’s a good indicator of who wants the very best for you. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you have to set your boundaries and remove yourself in silence. It doesn’t always have to be loud and proud. You can back away from people that you feel are in the pit of your stomach and don’t have the right intention.

That’s a good way of saying it. Don’t have the right intention. I like that.

Some people want to be around for the wrong reasons. That leaves you with a bit of a black cloud. You’ll know and feel when you’re not in the right space.

Putting Out A Positive Image On Social Media

Brittany, let’s talk a little bit about social media because it is such a fascinating topic. I’ve been to so many conferences where they talk about it as evil and blame all of the mental health in the community on social media.

I think it’s a blessing.

There’s an up and a downside. I want to talk to you about both. In your industry, I would imagine it plays a role.

To be honest with you, I’ve been very successful with social media. This is how I produce content. People can see my work. I can connect with other artists. I’ve gotten a lot of collaboration deals out of social media. I feel that if you portray the right image, you don’t have to share your whole life. You share what you want to share, you’ll be judged for that, and so on, but at the end of the day, you control what’s here.

It’s a control mechanism like anything else. If you’re putting up a positive image, you’re going to get back a positive image. I’ve had many negative comments. That is normal, but the majority of this has been positive. I guess it depends on how you’re using your media. Are you using it in a positive business form, or are you dilly-dallying and creating things in your head?

I’ve spoken to many women. They have had to close their Instagram to deal with anxiety. They can’t watch a makeup video, a girl in a bathing suit, or something about Kim Kardashian. In my experience, it’s been positive. You also have to understand how to market and that Instagram is a business. As a business owner, you have to think of it as a business. It’s not that serious.

I like what you said, too, about boundaries. Not sharing your entire world is important. You and I both use it very similarly in terms of our business. It’s a great way to reach lots of individuals you wouldn’t be able to reach otherwise. For young people, it can be anxiety provoking. I watch young kids regularly go through this, especially with colleges.

Kids are being bullied a lot online or body shaming.

I want to highlight something you said, and it’s important to repeat. We have control over that. If a young person is viewing social media a lot, which many do, you don’t have to. You can turn your phone off, put some limits on it, set some boundaries, and take a break from it, which is mentally healthy to do. There are lots of benefits for it. It reminds me of a swimming pool. It can be a lot of fun, but we have to respect that it can also be hazardous. Be mindful of it.

You choose who to follow online and which content to see. It is in your discretion to put everything in moderation. Share on X

It’s also easy to get caught up. You’re scrolling. You’re on your page. It’s almost like a rabbit hole. I try as much as I can to do my content, post it out there, and look at a few things, but you can also choose who you follow. You don’t have to be public like me or you. You can choose your content. You can also put barriers. Everything is in moderation. It’s at your discretion.

Staying True And Offering A Lending Hand

Brittany, let me ask you this. It’s a big question. It sounds like many of us went through ups and downs as young people. If you had an opportunity to speak to your thirteen-year-old yourself, what advice would you give?

I would say to myself, “It’s not my fault. You’re doing the best you can for you. Keep shining and continue to thrive.”

One of the hardest parts of my job is that the depression and anxiety rates are through the roof. The suicide rates are as well. Every once in a while, and unfortunately, it’s becoming more frequent, I will hear a story. It’s a story of someone who took their life. I always think the same thing. It’s a horrible tragedy, but their life is just beginning. There’s so much more that’s going to happen for them. I love what you said. For young people reading, please hear those words. You’re not alone. There are plenty of people out there who are willing to listen, help, and assist. Guess what? If you hold your breath, things are going to shift and change every ten minutes. Twelve years old, 13 years old, 15 years old, and 18 years old, it’s all different age brackets.

A few years ago, I got this tattoo on my wrist. It’s the semicolon. A few years ago, I was not in a good place. My mental health was poor. I admitted myself to the hospital. I was very close to not making it. It’s important for everyone to realize that you don’t need to be young or old, but you also have to realize that if you’re having a mental health crisis, there are places and people who you can go to. They don’t have to be your family because most of the time, your family doesn’t know what to do and can’t help themselves either. I want to say that you’re never alone in the world.

I appreciate you sharing that. I always tell young people that when you find yourself in a lonely position, you have to find somebody and reach out.

That means checking yourself in.

Somewhere, anywhere. It’s being by yourself. That’s the most destructive place to be when you’re feeling that way. I’m happy you did that.

They say that life is a journey. Our journeys are continuing. Young people’s journeys are just beginning in many ways. I always feel honored when someone allows me into their world for a moment to hear about their journey. I know that if I run into that person 2, 3, or 4 years later, there will be twists and turns. That’s part of life. Now is a tough time for young people and adults. It puts a lot of pressure on us to take care of ourselves better. We have to get through this because we want to get to the good stuff.

Life is hard. It is not easy for everybody. I see and talk to many people a day because of my profession. You’re a therapist, and I’m a therapist too, in my own right, without the degree. Someone’s sitting in your chair. They’re trusting you to make them feel good, and they get to talking to you. I have clients who are high profile and no profile. They say the same things to me.

It is easy to talk about your inner battles. But at a certain point, you will have enough and must take a break. Share on X

That’s so important because I feel like when I talk to kids and they talk about the Kim Kardashians of the world or other famous people, there’s this illusion that they’re not human beings.

They’re human. We’re all human.

Their lives are so vastly different. Sure, maybe there’s more money.

Their lives are harder than we think.

I always say to people that it’s always the same whenever I’ve worked with a celebrity or famous individual. Everybody is a human being. We’re all susceptible.

They have an even harder time. I work in the media as well. They have to have thick skin because they’re being spoken about and ripped apart. Their relationships and lives are online. If they’re fat, skinny, green, or purple, it’s out there. They put themselves out there, so their mental health rates. If we look at some of the celebrities that have passed away, how much struggle have they been through? Nobody wanted to help them, right? They couldn’t get the help they needed. They have all the resources in the world.

It’s important. We do hear about that in the public eye. All the more reason. One of the biggest reasons I created this show is to talk about mental health and normalize the conversation. Let’s have a conversation and ask the right questions. Let’s be there for others if we can. Let’s be kind. Let’s realize that sometimes, when people appear like they’re not struggling, they are.

It’s funny you say that because I’m always pretty authentic. I explain who I am. Clients, my friends, and people online know that I have struggles. I work with I Love Tyler Madison brands. I try to do as much outreach as I can. You don’t know what’s happening in someone’s home and head. You could look perfect, filtered, hair done and makeup on, but you don’t know what’s happening. You don’t know what is going on in someone’s brain. It’s the appearance.

The mask they’re wearing.

We all wear one.

Keep that in mind and realize that it’s a choice. We can be kind to other people. We can recognize that maybe people are going through it more than we know. We can always lend a hand and an ear and listen to people if we need to. You used the word authentic. You’re super authentic. I appreciate your ability to put yourself out there and talk about hard things. I do think it’ll resonate with my audience. Guess what? They’re dealing with stuff, too. I feel like when we give that message that we’re all dealing with stuff, it doesn’t push people off into that stigma corner. It’s like, “It’s okay to be dealing with stuff. You got to be dealing with it and working on it.”

You have to do the work. That’s the hardest part. It’s easy to talk about it and keep talking about it, but at a certain point, you have to be like, “Enough is enough. I want to feel good and strong now. I want to feel mentally okay. What does that mean? What do I need to do to wake up in the morning and not feel like I’m going to crawl into a ball and cry?”

That’s where therapy comes in. You get a good therapist. They’re going to direct and tell you. They’re going to warn you. They’re going to tell you, “This is going to be a little bit of work.”

A lot of work. You have to dig deep. It goes back a long time for many, including myself.

Brittany’s Nominee For Next Guest

I appreciate your time. Part of the show is that I want the conversation to continue. I often ask my guests to nominate a friend, a coworker, or a relative. If you have one, I’ll put you on the spot, but I’m curious. Any thoughts in terms of somebody you know who might be a good person for me to interview?

Yes, I do. She’s a good friend of mine. She’s a client. She’s also a content creator and actress. Her name is Esther Brzezinski. She would be good for your show as well. She’ll give a different perspective to your audience.

I appreciate it. I’ll get her info from you offline, reach out, and get Esther on the show sometime soon. Thank you so much. I know you’re super busy. I appreciate you being here. Have a wonderful day. We’ll talk at some point. Take care.

Thank you for having me.

You’re very welcome. Take care.

Important Links

About Brittany Snitzer

Brittany Snitzer is a talented and innovative professional in the makeup industry, known for her expertise in creating flawless, trend-setting looks. With a passion for enhancing natural beauty and a meticulous eye for detail, Britney has built a reputation as a go-to artist for a wide range of clients, from individuals to high-profile events and photoshoots. Her ability to adapt to diverse styles and stay ahead of industry trends sets her apart, making her a sought-after name in the beauty world.

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Jacqueline Harris | Fashion

Improve Your Wellness Through Fashion With Jacqueline Harris

April 1, 2025March 28, 2025

What you wear and how you show up has a direct impact on your personal wellness. Mental health advocate Jacqueline Harris is here to discuss how to use fashion to elevate your well-being and cultivate body positivity. Combining her fashion expertise with her psychology background, she talks about practical approaches to achieving self-acceptance, building self-confidence, and dealing with eating disorders. Jacqueline also discusses how to talk freely about suicide and why taking the easy route in life is not always the way to go.

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Improve Your Wellness Through Fashion With Jacqueline Harris

I’m so excited to meet Jacqueline Harris. Jacqueline, welcome to the show.

Thank you.

You’re very welcome. Jacqueline brings over twenty years of experience in fashion, running ILoveTylerMadison.com. Alongside fashion, she’s got a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, works as a designer, and is an advocate for mental health. Her journey through recovery from an eating disorder inspired her to create a fashion line that promotes both style and self-acceptance.

Recognizing that feeling comfortable and confident in one’s own skin can be a challenge, Jacqueline is passionate about making clothes that serve as a bridge between fashion and well-being. With a deep understanding of the importance of body positivity, she creates pieces that empower people to feel good inside and out. Jacqueline, welcome. How are you?

Thank you. I love the intro. I was like, “Yes,” to all that.

It’s so funny when I read intros. People are embarrassed or don’t know what to say.

I love it. I’m like, “Tell me more about what I do.”

From Counseling Psychology To The World Of Fashion

I’m thrilled to have you here. Your background and experience are very unique with a counseling psych background and a fashion background. I know, as my wife would attest, very little about fashion, but I certainly understand body image and mental health and wellness tremendously. As a therapist, I do have a subspecialty in eating disorders, so I’ve worked with a lot of both male and female patients over the years on various treatment levels around this topic. Let’s jump in. I want to pick your brain on some of these topics and get your viewpoint. As I’m reading your intro, I’m thinking, “That’s an interesting path.” What led you down the road as you got a counseling psych degree toward fashion?

I was always interested in psychology, but I ended up going back to school much later on in life. I was working in fashion before when all my friends were in university. It’s interesting. The company is named after our rescue dogs, Tyler and Madison. Years ago, it was my sister and me. Tyler was her dog. Madison was my dog. We wanted to create a line that was more than fashion. That’s where the altruistic side came in. We donate a portion of all sales to various animal charities.

We believe that helping others, and for us, it’s animals, gives you a sense of purpose. It takes you outside your negative head space. As we got older and evolved, and then became mothers, that’s when we started focusing more on the mental health side. We’re not ignoring the animals. We still do that. That’s when we started our mental health platform and wanted to normalize not being okay. We realized people don’t talk about it enough. That’s when I went back to school, did my undergrad, and then got my Master’s. That’s how the journey started.

I knew a bit about that last part. That honestly was what attracted me to reach out. I want to know more. Tell me more about your mental health platform. Can you give us a sense of that?

Sure. It’s on our website. We wanted to normalize not being okay. How it started was someone at the office, or maybe it was possibly me opening up about recovering from an eating disorder. Another person or another woman mentioned, “I had an eating disorder too. This was my journey.” Another woman also talked about it.

This is the first time that it happened to me as an adult in an open conversation with other individuals that you don’t know that well. They’re colleagues. To dive into something so personal was such a wonderful experience and made you feel less alone. It’s so isolating having an eating disorder. It was the most wonderful feeling.

It started so organically, saying, “We should do something about this and maybe offer tools or resources or even start posting not stories.” The first one was about a customer’s struggle with alcoholism. It wasn’t even related to eating disorders. It was to let people know that there are women in their 40s struggling with a drinking problem. That’s how it started.

I read that. I encourage everybody who’s tuning in to go to your website and read the letters you have on there. I was reading yours about birthdays as well.

I turned 42.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

There’s so much to those, but one of the takeaways is they’re so honest. We live in a world where it’s hard to be honest about our mental health. Statistically speaking, the reality is anxiety is through the roof, depression is through the roof, and eating disorders are through the roof. People are struggling. I love that you guys took that leap of faith with each other in the office. I’m guessing it created a cool culture of connection.

That’s what I always say. The opposite of addiction is connection. It’s so isolating. You feel so alone. That’s why we wanted to normalize it. We’ve had two events. We had a workshop at a yoga studio. They were small and intimate. We talked about mental health and did some breathing techniques. We would love to be able to have group therapies once a week or even once a month. That’s the goal, to offer more resources to people, but for now, it’s the articles and tools online.

The opposite of addiction is connection. Share on X

There’s another company I’ve worked with in the past, a men’s company that has a line of fitness clothing. They do something very similar for men. They open up their stores periodically. They have these men’s mental fitness and mental health talks. It’s something very similar to what you’re discussing. I feel they are so needed. It’s such a cool opportunity. It’s not a therapist’s office. It’s not a hospital setting. For some, these are intimidating areas. It is for people to recognize, “The general public is dealing with this. It’s coming up a lot for people.”

The Toxic Side Of Social Media

Honestly, one of the reasons I developed this show is that I work with many young adults. The population that I see is mostly high school and college-aged students. I have a virtual private practice. We see students all over the country when they’re away from home. One of the things that we see often is students who haven’t been diagnosed but have symptoms.

In many ways, it puts pressure on the adults older than them to be able to role model this concept that not only is it okay to not be okay, but it’s okay to talk about it. Some people will hug you and join you. There are people you are shoulder-to-shoulder with in your part-time job that you have no idea are struggling.

I do know more from working with that generation. I feel terribly for teenagers. Social media can be toxic, but then it could also connect you and bring you together. Those are ways in which you could see other people struggling if they do share their stories, but I would assume, more likely than not, people are posting their best selves. That’s what makes it hard too.

Social media can be so toxic, but it can also connect and bring people together. Share on X

I’m glad you said that. There are positives and negatives to it. Some of the negatives are upsetting to see, whether it be young people having popularity contests in many ways. I’ve seen young people post pictures with huge smiles on their faces, and they’re doing God knows what, and then I’ll see them that afternoon and they’re crying in my office. I try to get young people to understand regularly, “What you’re seeing is not real. What you’re seeing is a version of what that person wants you to see.” More importantly, it impacts us when we’re viewing that.

We’re trying to do a Mental Health Monday on the last Monday of every month. The tagline that I saw online and reused was, “I hope your life on social media is as amazing as you pretend it is to be,” or something. It’s worded better. That’s so true. More often than not, someone’s having the worst day, a big fight with their partner, or whatever it may be, and they post the opposite. It makes them feel better in some strange, for me, unrelatable way, because I didn’t grow up in the social media culture. Your life should be so private and everything has become so public and fake.

In the mental health realm or the wellness realm, you hit the nail on the head. You and I have referenced the point of life before social media. Teenagers, when you talk to them, eighteen, nineteen, twenty-year-old kids, don’t have that reference. It is tricky, and it does seem very real. For them, it influences them tremendously.

How Fashion Impact A Person’s Wellness

Social media is a huge factor. There is no doubt about it. Wellness is made up of so many different levels. Fashion, to me, is one of those levels. How a person feels in the clothes they wear determines a lot. You touched on it before, but where do those two topics collide for you in terms of outfits, fashion, and then also a person’s wellness?

Personally for myself, having my weight fluctuate my whole life, when you’re struggling, whether it’s an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or everything that comes with it, as trivial as it seems when you have to get up and go to school, go to work, or function, when you don’t feel good in your clothes, it’s another added layer that you don’t need on top of trying to survive.

That’s where my sister and I started the line. It was skirts, shorts, and pants. Everything was pull-on. It was years ago. The Lululemon craze started and people were wearing leggings. They weren’t very appropriate to wear other than the gym. I found it strange that people would go to dinner in leggings. We took that concept, which is popular in maternity and for older women, as a pull-on panty. It’s very popular.

We said, “Let’s make all of our pants like trousers with pockets and a fake button, but let’s make everything pull-on so you feel comfortable.” There’s the top button challenge. If you’re sitting in your jeans and your stomach is rolling over and the clothes are rolling down it, it’s so uncomfortable. That’s how it started. We were like, “Let’s make flattering, stylish pants that are comfortable so when you put them on, you feel good.”

Talking Freely About Suicide

I was thinking as you were talking about leggings, “Things have changed a lot in ten years.” Comfort is huge. And physical comfort and mental comfort collide right inside of us. You said it best that we take that with us every day, whatever we’re doing. That’s important. Tell me. I’m curious. Your staff sounds like a healthy bunch of people who share and connect. I’m wondering. In terms of viewpoint, I’m assuming your staff, age bracket-wise, are in their 50s.

It’s 35 to 50.

I imagine everybody has a little bit of a different viewpoint on mental health and wellness with some overlap.

We’re pretty aligned talking about it. We also come to be of that age, especially some few other colleagues around my age. It’s strange. In our culture, it is common that you are more avoidant. You don’t talk about your personal issues. It was very private if you were going to therapy. It is strange for all of us to come out there and so openly talk about it, but we feel that there’s a need that we’d have to normalize it.

As a side note, there were quite a few suicides in Montreal around individuals our age. That was shocking to all of us, whether we knew of them or some knew them personally, to think you don’t know anyone and they suffered in silence. That also got the ball rolling about like, “Forget it. Forget my shame. I want to talk about this if it could help one person know that they’re not alone.”

What an immense statement. You’re right. The suicide rate in young people is increasing tremendously and in a scary way. To me, that’s the worst-case scenario for somebody who’s struggling and certainly struggling alone. They go down that path. For so many people, there’s that stretch of time. A lot of times, it’s a long stretch of time where they’re feeling depressed and anxious and they’re having trouble, but they’re not saying things to people. They’re not letting people know. It could also be that the people they are letting know are their friends, and their friends are struggling also, so they keep it contained.

One of the mantra statements I end up repeating all the time for young people is finding a healthy adult to connect with and to let them know. Healthy adults can come in all different shapes and sizes in terms of who they are. They could be professors, coaches, therapists, neighbors, aunts, uncles, friends, friends’ parents, and all different types of people. It is letting an adult know, and that adult will hopefully help them get to some level of assistance.

You’re right. It’s tragic to hear that it’s happening your way, but honestly, it’s happening in so many different areas of the world. It’s the reality. It’s something we need to pay attention to. Suicide is one of those words. People don’t like talking about it. It’s a scary concept to think about. I always say to families, “If you can’t say to your pubescent kid, ‘You can’t talk about sex,’ then suicide is going to be challenging. Trust me, those topics are a lot easier to talk about than going to a funeral.” It was something along those lines.

There’s so much stigma with suicide. I find when you open the door and you talk about it, whether it’s to the family members who live through it, there’s so much gratitude because people shy away from it. It’s an illness. I’ve overheard people say, “How could that person do that? It’s so selfish. They had kids.” It enrages me. I say, “They’re sick. Would you say that to someone who had cancer?” People don’t understand it either.

Be open about discussing suicide. There is so much gratitude when you do this because many people shy away from it. Share on X

That’s a big part of it. It is interesting, people’s reactions, when that happens. Sometimes, people will get angry. Sometimes, people feel insulted. There’s a whole range of reactions that’s hard to understand. I agree with you. The topic itself could be talked about more. For those individuals who are not suffering from depression or anxiety, it’s hard to understand. It’s complicated.

The number one thing that I put out there around this topic is to connect. Connect with someone. Find somebody to connect with and make sure that that person has your best interest in mind. Young people are suffering in silence. Those people are at risk. I’m glad you brought the topic up. Social media gives us our viewpoint of it. Certainly, there have been a number of very public suicides of celebrities over the last many years that have called our attention to the topic. It does for a small period of time, and then we move on from that.

We very quickly move on. People forget. That’s why it’s important to keep the conversation open. As we’re talking, I’m thinking, “We should do an article maybe about suicide. I’ll put it out there if someone wants to send it in.”

I’m thinking in my head of the shows that I’ve done. It’s amazing how much this topic gets talked about. I interviewed a young lady who is a suicide survivor. You don’t hear about that often, but to listen to the impact and where she was at. She’s 24. As she tells her story, it’s a very common story. There are lots of kids out there that are at risk. I agree with you. As adults in our forties, fifties, and sixties, our challenge is to keep that conversation right there. If we’re able to reduce even one person from taking that leap, then we’ve assisted people.

Avoiding The Easy And Familiar Route

Let me ask you this. In terms of wellness, wellness is one of those areas where we talk about coping skills, parenting, mind-body, different techniques, and so forth. As therapists, we talk about that in counseling. I’m wondering. When you hear the phrase mental health and wellness, what does it mean to you? What comes to mind?

In terms of wellness, for some reason, I always think of the wellness industry. My mind automatically goes to social media. I think of living a happy life in terms of mental health and wellness, and if you have that under control. Mental health is a huge umbrella. Many things fall under it. There are a lot of misconceptions. The main message I would want to get across from discussing mental health would be that it’s so important to work at it.

When people go to the gym, they want to go as much as they can to feel good. It’s the same with mental health. Don’t feel ashamed that you don’t feel okay. People didn’t have the proper word for it. They’re like, “Something feels off. Something is amiss. Something doesn’t feel right,” whether that’s anxiety or depression.” There’s so much to discuss. Did that answer that?

It does. You got me thinking about a few things. I missed this earlier but I want to double back to it for a minute. I want to thank you for your honesty because so many people our age when they talk about their own mental health say, “I struggle with depression. I struggle with happiness. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with eating disorders.” You’ve had the courage to do that and I applaud you for that. I admire that.

Thank you.

You’re welcome. It’s awesome that you’ve done that. I feel like that does serve as a role model for young people to hear adults say things like, “On the outside, I may look a certain way and I may act a certain way. You may even see me online, but I need you to understand that I’ve had my struggles and I currently have my struggles.” That’s honest. That’s wrapped into mental health and wellness. You’re right. There are a lot of different pieces to it. I like what you said. It’s 100% accurate. It’s one of those things we can’t put down and stop working. It’s like our oral hygiene. We can’t stop brushing our teeth. That’ll be a problem.

That’s what people don’t talk about enough. It’s a lifelong journey. There are ups and downs. When working with young kids, I often say, “It’s like the weather. You can’t have sunny days all the time. It’s going to rain. There are going to be storms. That’s part of your mood and your emotions. Know that it’s okay. It’s a constant journey.” I feel like with every decade, let’s say, you’re facing new struggles. There are new things to work on all the time, like your body changes when you go to the gym. You’ll be doing different workouts and changing it up. It’s the same thing.

That’s a very healthy way of looking at it. Whether it’s counseling, going to the gym, or trying to force yourself to talk openly to people or healthy habits, it is looking at those and saying, “These aren’t things that I do every Tuesday. They’re things that I should be doing all the time.”

When I think of wellness, it’s about the easy route. When you try to take the easy route, life becomes harder. It’s so simple. Working out is hard, but not moving your body will end up harder. It goes on to say a bunch, like easy always has a cost. That’s where I find the familiar hell. When people get so used to struggling, that becomes their level of comfort. Getting to the root cause of why you don’t feel well will make the difference, but getting there is hard, if that makes sense.

When you try to take the easy route, life becomes harder. Share on X

It does.

It should be easy, but it’s not. It takes a lot of work to get there.

You got me thinking when you said that.

That was a lot. I’m sorry.

That’s deep. I appreciate you telling me that. I’m going to repeat that. Easy comes with a cost. I’m even thinking about counseling. Why is it that so many young people need counseling but don’t get it? The simple answer is that they don’t want to do anything that requires that type of work. A lot of people in their forties, fifties, and sixties can recognize that all of the things that we do that are fruitful in life require hard work.

It’s easier to scroll on Instagram for hours than to take twenty minutes to journal or go to an hour-long therapy session. It’s easier to drive to McDonald’s and get fast food than it is to make a stir fry or whatever it may be. For a lot of individuals, they take the easy route. Even with addictions or eating disorders, it’s familiar. You go back to that familiar hell and unfamiliar heaven because it’s easy. It feels strange to stray from what your nervous system knows.

It’s interesting how so many of my patients have been in that familiar world where it’s hellish and it’s uncomfortable but it’s familiar. Changing from that can take a lot of courage. It’s interesting. I’m sure you’ve seen this over the years with people that you’ve known. I’ve had people say to me in their teen years, “I didn’t think I was going to live until I was 21.” I’m talking to them at 26 or 27 and they’re telling me that. They’re talking about having a family. You hear those things and you’re like, “Life does shift and change.”

Sometimes, when we think one thing at a moment, we don’t realize that our thoughts are going to shift and change every couple of years, even in terms of what our future looks like. I appreciate you sharing that. The “familiar hell” is an interesting phrase. I’ll remember it because it’s true. When people are suffering, that’s where they are. One of the biggest reasons I felt so passionate about connecting with people and doing the show is I wanted people to understand that those types of feelings, oftentimes for young people, are normal until they recognize, “There is a healthier normal. There’s a different space that you can be in. They’ll remain in that hellish world.”

That’s important to talk about. Tying it back to social media, influencers and people are comparing our lives to make it look so easy. It’s not. It’s an illusion too.

No matter who I meet, no matter what they’ve done, no matter what their bank accounts look like, and no matter how public they are, I’m always reminded we’re all human beings and we all go through very similar things. As a result, we’re all susceptible. The social media scrolling is a bit of a Pavlovian-type training that we go through where we start to think, “Everybody else has their shit together. What’s wrong with me?” I’m glad you said that. That is spot on.

Jacqueline’s Nominee For Next Guest

First of all, thank you so much for your time and energy and for talking about these topics. I love your viewpoint. I love your honesty. I appreciate you bringing to the table what you did. Part of the show is I usually put people on the spot a little bit toward the end of the interview and ask them to nominate a friend, a coworker, a relative, or someone who they think would be helpful for us to interview next and have on the show. Any thoughts in terms of people that you might nominate?

I do. I have my girlfriend Brittany. She’s on our Tyler Madison Instagram feed a lot. She looks very good in our clothing. She’s a makeup artist and is also open about her struggles with mental health and loves talking about it openly. She’d be an interesting perspective, especially working with women in the beauty industry and doing makeup. She has a lot to say about that. I could give you her information.

I’ll get that from you offline. I appreciate you nominating her. I’m excited to talk to her. It sounds like she’ll have a different viewpoint and give us a sense of her perspective. I appreciate you nominating her. I look forward to getting in touch with her sometime soon. Again, thank you so much. I know you’re busy. I appreciate you making the time.

To those of my readers who didn’t catch it originally, it is ILoveTylerMadison.com. Look them up. They have awesome stuff going on on their website. They have great clothing that they are putting out there, and even more fantastic people behind the clothing. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You have yourself a wonderful rest of the day.

Thank you so much. You too.

Bye-bye.

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About Jacqueline Harris

Jacqueline brings over 20 years of experience in fashion, alongside a master’s degree in counseling psychology, to her work as a designer and advocate for mental health. Her journey through recovery from an eating disorder inspired her to create a fashion line that promotes both style and self-acceptance.

Recognizing that feeling comfortable and confident in one’s own skin can be a challenge, Jacqueline is passionate about making clothing that serves as a bridge between fashion and well-being. With a deep understanding of the importance of body positivity, she creates pieces that empower people to feel good, inside and out.

On Demand Coaching + Emotional Support

Tag Archives: Eating Disorder