Tag Archives: College Mental Health

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Laura Doyle | College Mental Health

 

As students prepare to head off to school, the conversation around college mental health becomes more critical than ever. In this episode, Marc Lehman is joined by Laura Doyle, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with decades of experience counseling students, to discuss the realities of this major life transition. From managing academic expectations and social anxiety to the importance of self-care basics like sleep and hydration, Laura provides practical strategies to help students stay balanced. They also dive into the impact of social media and the vital role of building real-world connections on campus. If you are a parent or student looking for ways to foster resilience and wellness during the college years, this discussion offers essential guidance for navigating the challenges ahead.

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College Mental Health: Expert Strategies For The Campus Transition With Laura Doyle

Introduction To College Mental Health And Wellness

We are here to talk openly about mental health and wellness. I am super excited to be joined by Laura Doyle. Laura is one of my favorite all-time clinicians. Let me read a little bit about who you are and then we’ll get into our discussion. Laura’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker an LCSW who’s been working with children, adolescents and young adults since ‘94. She spent 25 years as a school counselor here in Connecticut and six as a therapist and a coach. As a therapist, Laura employs an eclectic approach because every person and situation is unique. It is essential to tailor this approach to that person’s needs Laura feels.

She’s trained in Psychodynamic Therapy. Laura seeks to help clients understand what motivates their behavior by increasing their self-awareness regarding their past experiences. Laura believes that the most important aspect of treatment is to create a relationship in which the client can feel understood in a non-judgmental, safe, compassionate and supportive environment. Laura believes that listening, hearing and understanding each individual’s concerns and struggles is paramount, both initial sessions and as the work together progresses.

Laura has a particular interest in ample expertise in working with students with ADHD and often a company issues executive functioning, anxiety, and depression. Laura also has significant experience working with many different types of anxiety and depression. As a parent of one college grad and one post-college young adult, Laura’s a multifaceted and extensive understanding of issues students face in today’s world.

 

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Laura Doyle | College Mental Health

 

Welcome, Laura.

Thanks so much for having me. I’m glad to be here.

I was looking forward to this conversation because I value your background, your experience. Many of the audience may be in that spot where they’re sending their kids off to school in the next couple of months and trying to get a sense of adolescents, teenage years and what that brings especially with this off to college. I just wanted to ask your thoughts on the transition to school and how that mixes in with mental health.

That’s a big question. It’s going to be different for each individual student and for students who are struggling at the end of high school. We see a lot of burnouts in high school students with the expectation of multi-APs and the high rigor that is expected. We see a lot of high school students not having a lot left in the tank at graduation. They then have to pretty quickly refuel and turn around for this next endeavor.

Having that more empty tank puts students a little bit more at risk for a bumpier transition. Students’ tanks are a little bit more full and they have a little bit more in reserve, they are better armed to hit the ground running once they hit college such as look to join clubs, get involved, and make connections. It’s when we see students that are a little more reserved to make those connections that the transition tends to be a little more bumpy.

I put you on the spot. I asked you a hard question to start but it’s a great answer, Laura. I wonder if there’s got to be parents out there that are thinking about their kids that are a little bit more passive, shy, and reserved and they’re wondering, “How will going to college go for them?” We know that they’re going from a known environment in high school to a very unknown. Most kids are going to college with no friends and no knowledge of other kids. I can imagine that being overwhelming for some.

I can imagine it can be, too. What’s different now than was a few years ago or years ago, social media comes into play here. Back in the olden days when I went to college, we didn’t have social media. We showed up on campus, and we made connections there. Now, there’s pages for accepted students to whatever school and there’s a whole process that’s painstaking for students. It’s finding roommates, getting connected to somebody, and making connections before they end up on campus. There’s a lot that goes into that. I don’t know whether social media helps or makes it more challenging, but that’s a part of it.

That’s a great point. I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sure you have this too with your students. Every year, students accept and then the first thing they do is they jump on Instagram. They try to find a roommate and connect. It’s just an exchange of cursory information and real basic stuff. For some kids, that helps reduce the anxiety of going.

You’ll have some connections when you arrive. You’re not brand new.

Helping Students Navigate Social Connections And Roommates

I’m smiling because I had a kid ask me, “Did you go random when you went to college?” I’m like, “That’s all I had.” We just showed up and you got paired up with somebody. Times have changed. There’s no doubt. I’m a fan of practical information. I’d ask the question. You’re a parent and you’ve got a kiddo who doesn’t have super strong social skills. You had mentioned a moment ago joining a club or an organization. How do you get a kid to take those steps if they’re shy and let’s say nervous to do? What do you think?

It’s about finding something that they’re interested in. Big universities these days, colleges have clubs for everything. There’s the Cheese club. If you like cheese and you want to talk about cheese. Go talk about cheese. To find something that leans into their interests, where they’re going to also connect with people who have similar interests and therefore, some connections can start. It’s about taking that leap of faith in the beginning of the year and going to the freshman college fair and walking around. Even if you’re doing this alone.

Find something that leans into your interests, where you're going to connect with people who have similar interests. That’s how connections start. Share on X

Maybe you have someone on your floor that you can go with, but signing up for more clubs than you think you want to be a part of because they don’t always work out. Sometimes, there are meetings that happen during a class or something like that. Even if your child is somebody where this is not in their comfort zone, to say this is the time to push out of that comfort zone and try to make some connections because the payoff down the road will be huge. I know it’s the hardest time to push out of their comfort zone because they’ve already pushed out of their comfort zone to just show up on campus.

That’s right. I’m on Instagram way too much for my business. Some of my favorite videos that I see are students that are 3rd year or 4th year graduating and they’re giving freshmen advice. The number one advice they always say is get involved. That’s easy to say and hard to do, but your points are good. I have noticed a lot of the schools are going to these activity fairs. Whatever they call them. The first week or two of school in the fall

If you’re okay with crowds and some kids aren’t, you can go to something like that and just leave your email with a bunch of different clubs. Let them contact you and strategize that way. I love that tip. That’s a great suggestion. You put it best. Take a leap of faith. Take a chance. Let’s just say, if it doesn’t go well, you don’t go back but you tried. For college freshmen, that can make a huge difference.

One other piece that could be helpful for incoming freshmen is to become a regular at the same spot in the library or the same study room or if there’s a coffee shop. Become a regular at the Student Union. Become a regular somewhere. If you keep going, you’ll keep running into the same people. Even if you’re super shy, somebody’s going to start talking to you and you will respond. Maybe there’s a connection there but become a regular.

I like that. It’s a great suggestion. These are little tips and tricks that you and I have discovered, and we’re passing along to kids. If parents are reading, bring these up with your kids because certainly, any leg up kids can have on the social side, makes them feel grounded and helps them a lot. I’m curious. You’ve seen students come out of public and private schools. Any differences that you notice just in general?

Do you mean from high school to college?

Yes.

I think all students are well prepared and ready for the rigor of college. The nice thing for most students going into college is that they can have more of a sense of interest in what they’re studying. There’s always the general education credits to get under their belt. Other than that, they get to choose for all students, whether coming private or public. That’s a benefit of getting to take what you’re more interested in.

No doubt.

I don’t see any significant difference between students coming out of public schools, versus private high schools.

I figure I’d asked because I know you’ve worked at some and you’ve seen kids through the process. The topic of Wellness comes up probably at every show that I do. I feel like in college that such a huge topic is overlooked by many. I’m curious when you think about the wellness of a college student. What does that mean to you, Laura?

The Essentials Of College Student Wellness And Self-Care

I’ll go to the basics like sleeping, eating well, hydrating, and getting some exercise. To me, exercise can be as simple as going for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a two-hour stint in the gym with heavy weights. If that’s your thing, do it but starting with the basics. We know college students are up to late. At least, they have the benefit of having later classes than they did in high school usually, so they can sleep a little later.

Go to the basics: sleeping, eating well, hydrating, and getting some exercise. Starting with the basics is key to managing mental health. Share on X

Once those are all in place, then thinking about what are the other things that are weighing on them. What other ways that they can take some time to refuel so that they’re not running on empty by the end of the semester. What are those things for them? For some people, it’s a walk in the woods. For other people, it’s painting. For somebody else, it might be a game of tennis or basketball. Whatever the thing is that refuels them to find ways to work those into their schedule in addition to social time. We all know that. In college, it’s such a good time for social time for many, but finding a way to add those pieces in.

It’s huge. It occurred to me as you were talking. People are getting my experience and your experience, over 50 years of working with lots of kids for you and I. I say what you just said all the time. For good reason, those are things that kids have access to like they can they can alter. It comes down to making decisions. It’s like, “Do I go to bed at 11:00 or at 3:00? Do I have three square meals of decent nutrition or do I eat a whole bunch of awful food?

I think those decisions are huge because, to me, most kids can choose to go for that walk every day or just move their body. I believe those three things such as eating, sleeping, and exercise help manage mental health symptoms tremendously. Those kids that are going off to school, are thinking about that. Be thinking about, “How do I incorporate these things?” Every kid has the opportunity to do those. I’m not sure every kid I speak to does those. It’s something to consider because we’ve all been there. Your buddy approaches you at 11:00 at night and says, “Let’s go watch this movie,” and you’re like, “That sounds great.” The next thing you know it’s 2:00 in the morning.

More likely, it’s Instagram or Snapchat. Students are getting into bed at a reasonable time, and then I’ll just spend a few minutes and before you know it, it’s now 2:00 AM.

Maybe that’s a good segue. We got a chat about social media. Let’s chat about it a little bit. I had a colleague contact me and she was telling me about a twelve-year-old young lady that she just started working with who is logging 40 hours a week on TikTok and another 8 or 9 on Snapchat. and I thought that is a full-time job plus. That’s a lot of hours.

Those numbers seem crazy to us but I bet you if we started looking at more and more kids. I’m looking at some of my patients with their phones. Those are ours that are not super uncommon. Maybe those are a little inflated, but that’s a lot of time. I’ll just ask you the huge question and put it out there. How does that type of time impact a person’s mental health from your perspective?

Understanding The Impact Of Social Media On Mental Health

That’s an easy question. We know it’s not good. Everything on social media is cherry-picked to be pretty, beautiful and ideal and makes us forget that life is this balance of these lovely moments and less lovely moments. Social media makes it seem like if we have any less lovely moments in our lives then our lives aren’t good enough.

Everything on social media is cherry-picked to be pretty, beautiful, and ideal and makes us forget that life is this balance of lovely moments and less lovely moments. Share on X

There’s so much comparison. We know that the comparison is the thief of joy and it never gets us to feeling better about anything. I will say I’m on social media myself. I love to watch good cat or dog videos. There’s my downfall right there, but it’s about like so many things in our world. It’s all about moderation. We don’t eat sugar all day long because we have to eat sugar in moderation. Social media is the same way. I know more schools are getting phones out of the classroom. Schools are seeing a resurgence of, I’m going to say old times things like hacky sack. Do you know what a hacky sack is?

Yes.

I love it. Kids are out bopping the ball away. I could never do it, but what a great way for them to spend time interacting in real life with each other as opposed to on the screen. Social media has its place. I think of it, as you imagine a treat. It is not something that we should be spending all day on. Only for a limited time. I don’t know about Androids but on iPhones, you can set restrictions so that you have a notification. For some students that helps. For other students. they ignore it and go pass. You can also get notifications of how much time they’re spending on their phone. It sounds like you’ve had these conversations too, where I’ll ask a student to pull it up like, “How many hours have you been on your phone?”

It’s shocking. Sometimes, parents are shocked. They have no idea. I appreciate that. You hit the nail on the head. Everything in moderation. These things are just like an extension of our arms. They’re available all the time. What better way to fill our time. As you said, a simple dog or cat video, instead of ten minutes, ends up being two hours. We’re just lost in the algorithm. I would just point out to both kids and parents. I’m thinking about what you said about sugar. It’s always good to have a nice slice of pie or dessert or something like that. We would never eat the whole pie. I feel like kids are eating the whole pie every day regularly.

Multiple pies every day. They’re facing the odds here, because there are office buildings after office buildings filled with people whose entire jobs are to keep them eating the pie.

There is more independence in being a college student. In high school, teachers look over your shoulder; that happens much less in college. Share on X

It’s a great point. Also, video games are very similar, but a little more transparent. Kids understand that concept. Whereas, kids on their phones. I would also argue that going to college, to me, one of the awesome opportunities and experiences kids get is to meet new people. It’s hard to meet somebody when your face is on the phone. I love the story about a hacky sack. I’ve heard the same thing and I encourage kids to do anything that they’re able to do out and about, interacting. Having the time like this and having a conversation. Any of that is great.

Awesome to hear. We swayed into self-care, which is an equally important topic that I talk to kids about a lot in school. I’m curious to ask also. We jumped over academics. What do you typically see students when they’re transitioning and they’re heading off to school? We’ve got some students that are prepared well. They hit the ground running and they know what they’re doing. There are other students that are a little surprised in terms of the shift that takes place academically. Can you talk about that a little bit in terms of what you see with your students?

Managing Academic Independence And Expectations

There is more independence in being a college student versus high school. In high school, your teachers will look over your shoulder and make sure you’re doing what you need to do. That happens but much less in college. Usually, if you’re hearing from your professor, it’s not good news. It’s, “You’ve got three assignments overdue and are worried about this class. Maybe you need to talk to your advisor about dropping the class.” You don’t want to get into that situation.

Early on, it’s understanding the expectations that are different and how this transition from high school to college will be different in each class. It’s understanding what each professor’s expectations are in their classes and recognizing when they say this work is optional, is it really optional or do the reading or at least skim the reading? Only because there’s nothing that holds you accountable to having done the work, doesn’t mean you don’t have to do the work.

 

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Laura Doyle | College Mental Health

 

That’s a tricky spot. I love this idea of thinking of those school days as a work day. Where you get up for your first class and then between classes are study halls, if you want to call them that and you have other classes. You can get your academic day fit into these hours. In the evening, you can watch a movie with your buddy on Netflix. Maybe not until 2:00 AM. You do have time to be social and do some other things rather than starting your homework at 10:00 at night. Which is pretty common for a lot of high school students but they don’t have the flexibility in their day and that ability to use those open blocks in the day to accomplish stuff, so that you can plan for some social time later. It’s a great strategy.

Awesome strategy. You were referring to the 9:00 to 5:00 piece that people have talked about in the last couple years. I, too, subscribe to that. It’s a good idea. I usually say to students, once you leave your dorm during the day, don’t go back. There’s no reason to go back during the day. Go to the gym or the library or the dining hall or take a walk. Find things to do out on campus and then come back at the end of the day when things are complete.

There are students out there that underestimate how much work on a daily basis will be asked of them. I usually say to kids, “It’s typically two to three hours each day once you get through that first week.” I want to go back to something you said because I want to highlight something. You were talking about sussing out the professor and getting a sense of who they are.

That first week, in my opinion, the syllabus week. They’re going to tell you. You’re going to have professors that will say, “By the way, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but you still have to.” They are going to have professors that will say, “You better come. If you miss three, I’m going to fail you.” Make sure you go to those classes. They’re going to tell you those things. They’re going to give you those hints that first week. To me, a lot of kids will maybe not go to those classes. I find those classes to be extremely helpful to set things in motion in a good fashion for this semester.

Finding that self-accountability is the big difference. It’s like, “Nobody’s taking attendance, but I still need to go to class. Nobody knows whether I’m going to do this reading, but I still need to do this reading. Nobody knows that I could sneak back to my dorm and take a nap and maybe sleep through my next class.” I love that idea of not going back to the dorm.

Once you’re out, there’s other places for you to go and to be more social that aren’t your dorm room where you’re going to be alone and by yourself. Be out there. Be in the world. That’s the hard part. It’s that accountability that didn’t necessarily exist in high school. In high school, your mom or dad made sure you were up and got to school on time. Now, maybe you have a roommate who will do that. Not too many roommates do necessarily.

Let me push you on that because it’s a great concept. I’m wondering why. Why does the student need to be self-accountable, especially if they miss a class that no one seems to care about? What do you think?

It matters. Your professor notices. I’ve heard things like, “There’s 500 people in my class.” Usually, in a class like that, there’s some other way of sign in. It’s not just that. If you’re not in a smaller class and there’s twenty people, your professor knows you’re not there. Reaching out and saying, “Sorry I missed class. Is there anything that I should know or do?” It goes a long way with professors. You’re sending them an email.

I love that concept. My feeling is this. Whether your professor knows or not, at some point, you’re going to hit something. It’s like driving fast. At some point, you’re going to either get a ticket or get into an accident or something’s going to happen. To me, if a kid misses a class and nothing happens. They’re likely to do it again and again. At some point, you’re going to fail that class. By the way, that means you got to take it again. The self-accountability piece to me is huge. It grows a kid up too, to say, “This is mine. Someone’s paying for me to be here and this is my job. I got to do this.”

That’s a great way to think of it, like, “This is mine. This is my job. This is my responsibility. I’ve got to do it.”

Suicide Prevention And Intervention On Campus

I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask you a little bit more about mental health because you and I work obviously with a lot of mental health. We know the mental health numbers in college are not great. The stats are not wonderful. One of them, when I present, I talk a lot about because it’s a little shocking for parents but truthful, is the national number of kids that walk around college campuses is 1 in 9 that have suicidal ideations.

To me, as a parent, that’s scary to hear. Anything around suicide is scary to hear. We, as providers, as parents, and as people that are locked into our community, we hear about tragedies that happen, unfortunately, a lot. Suicide is a very real scenario that is now the number two leading cause of death in this age bracket.

There’s a seriousness to one’s mental health and managing one’s mental health. You and I had talked earlier about the importance of self-care and how that can help. What are some of the other things that as a therapist, you make suggestions to or talk to kids about so that they’re remaining more balanced throughout their days at school?

 

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Laura Doyle | College Mental Health

 

I still got the suicide thing in my head.

I know. It shakes you, right?

It does. That statistic is an uncomfortable statistic. It is a scary statistic. When it comes to concern about suicidal ideation, what we want more is more connection at a time when kids tend to be less connected in some ways. Finding ways to be connected like connected to roommates, professors, somebody on campus, a coach, or a clinician. Those connections where there’s a regular contact of somebody looking out for their welfare or their best interests that can recognize, “Is this a bad day or is this a slide? Is this something more than that?”

We all have bad days. Bad days are a part of the good days, too. They’re mixed in. When we see more of a slide and we start to see academic assignments not being handed in, classes being missed, and sleeping. Sleeping through classes is a big warning sign on a more regular basis. That’s when we need the intervention of professional support. More than just what parents can do. Parents can call. Parents can talk to kids. It’s wonderful for parents to put that support in as well, but I do think sometimes you need that extra step.

It’s worth mentioning too, Laura. Both of us are parents and we’ve got kids that have been through college. There’s nothing worse than that feeling of your kid struggling. They’re far away. We can’t jump in our car and get to them quickly. What you just said is so valuable and I want every parent and every kid to hear this. Setting up a resource for someone on campus. You and I have talked to so many kids that are depressed. They’re isolating and sad. The last thing they want to do is connect, but it’s the first thing they need.

Finding whether it’s a neighbor, a roommate, an RA, an RD, a trainer or a teacher. I don’t care if it’s the person serving pizza at the dining hall. Who cares? If you make a connection with a trusted individual, you’re making that commitment to say, “We got each other’s back. We’re going to keep an eye on each other. If Laura’s not doing well, I’m going to make sure I’m connecting with her. I’m going to nurture her because I want to let her know she’s not alone and people care.” That establishment is so important and it’s highly underestimated by a lot of students.

It’s only a thought. If parents know that stat like you and I, we’re shaken by the word suicide or even the thoughts of suicide. You might be thinking, “What can my kid do?” I would say that’s something your kid can do. It’s to make those connections. It’s funny why people connect. There’s times where I’ve had kids say to me, “I connected with my econ professor because we like the same ice cream.” I don’t care what the reason is.

Don’t be afraid to make those connections because, to me, before class or after class, teachers get into the profession because they want to help kids. I’ve heard the strangest ways kids are connecting with teachers but, to me, it’s wonderful that teachers can recognize, “All these kids are looking for support and connection. I can give that to him by having a conversation and asking them a bit about break or whatever it might be.” To me, if parents and students are looking for ways to do that, find some trusted adults on campus to connect with and to feel supported by. I have one more question for you. To that parent who is far away, like you and I have been. We’ve got kids at school and they’re struggling. What can a parent do?

Practical Advice For Parents Supporting Students

Know your student’s roommate because it is very easy for our kiddos not to answer their phones. It’s very easy for them to turn the ringer off or be asleep and not know. We’re sitting half a country away ringing our hands because we are worried about them and they just overslept. They’re perfectly fine. Get to know their roommates. Get the roommates number and be like, “I’ve been trying to reach out to my kiddo for a few hours now. and haven’t heard anything. What did it look like when you left the room?” That’s a great resource. It’s definitely having roommates or their friends. If it’s not the roommate, hopefully, there’s one or two contacts on campus that they make. Other than that, that’s hard.

It’s a tough spot to be in. I love the suggestion. I would further it by saying to parents, if you have a conversation with the roommate and say, “Would it be okay if I shared mine number with you? Can I text it to you?” Simply texting it to them and they’re sharing the number back without even having the conversation. You’ve just opened the door and more often than not, kids have no problem doing that and you’ve just helped your kid establish a connection.

You’ve also done one thing. If the roommate’s worried about your kid, now they can reach out to you.

Huge. Parents don’t often think of that upon drop off. Everything’s exciting and they’re a little sad about leaving. For most parents, you’re not going to have a connection with the roommate. Maybe parents weekend. It might be months, though, before you see them again. Be thinking about that, anyway. Laura, I appreciate you spending some time with me. Can I put you on the spot and ask you one last thing?

I’m not sure I’m prepared.

You’re good. The way we have it set up is, I have my guests try to think of a friend, a co-worker, a relative or someone that you’d want to nominate that I’d have on the show at some point. Any thoughts that you have in your rolodex of people?

I’m thinking, Brenna Chiaputti. She’s running a private school.

Brenna would be great. I know Brenna well. Brenna, you heard it. You’ve been nominated. I will reach out to Brenna and get around the show. She’d be great. Brenna is a social worker, I believe, on the Middle School level.

At Kingswood Oxford.

She’d be a great person to have in the show. Thank you so much for spending time with us, Laura.

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

 

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About Laura Doyle

Normalize It Forward - Marc Lehman | Laura Doyle | College Mental HealthLaura is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who has been working with children, adolescents, and young adults since 1994.

She has spent 25 years as a school counselor in Connecticut and six years as a therapist and coach.

As a therapist, Laura employs an eclectic approach because every person and situation is unique; it is essential to tailor it to each person’s needs. Trained in psychodynamic therapy, Laura seeks to help clients understand what motivates their behavior by increasing their self-awareness regarding their past experiences. Laura believes that the most important aspect of treatment is to create a relationship in which the client can feel understood in a non-judgmental, safe, compassionate, and supportive environment. Laura believes that listening, hearing, and understanding each individual’s concerns and struggles is paramount, both in initial sessions and as the work together progresses.

Laura has a particular interest and ample expertise in working with students with ADHD and the often accompanying issues of executive functioning, anxiety, and depression. Laura also has significant experience working with many different presentations of anxiety and depression. As a parent of one recent college graduate and one post-college young adult, Laura has a multifaceted and extensive understanding of the issues students face in today’s world.

 

Reading about mental health is hard. Let’s schedule a free consultation.